Saturday, January 8, 2011

Missy Saga

The kids played outside a lot yesterday - like it or not. Friday is a busy day cleaning and preparing for the Sabbath. The attitudes were not the best in the twins and so they got to play outside.... finally Missy decided she would do some vacuuming so she could come in. Buster helped carry folded clothes, etc...

When all was done and Christina  offered to take the twins for a walk, the twins were so excited, but I was worried.

Sure enough, it didn't go well. I am proud of Christina. She is handling the nonsense very well these days. She just carries on and tells them what they are doing is silly and that it won't help the situation. She brought them home and Missy was in full blown rage by the time she got to the door. We wouldn't let her in until she stopped screaming and beating on the door. Steve sat on the porch and when she was calming down he talked her through...

When she came in she knew she had crossed the line. She looked at me with utter sadness. I didn't have to say a word. We gave her a hot shower, fed her supper and put her to bed. A tear or two slid down her cheeks, but she  never questioned.

It's almost strange these days. We've learned how to deal with it. No one reacted. No one said a word. It just was and nobody let it effect their mood in the least.

All our company arrived a half hour later and we had a nice evening. Missy had looked forward to this all day but  alas for poor choices.

I don't believe Missy is a true RAD. She can be affectionate and sweet and funny and cuddly. She is all that and very loving this morning, but I haven't crossed her will yet. She wants what she wants when she wants it. Slowly she is learning self-control and some days she controls herself well. Other days she has no control whatsoever. If she wants to be happy and obedient she can be that. She came as the most impulsive creature I have ever met and I see great changes. She is strong-willed and stubborn and someday that may be her asset, but at the moment it's to her detriment.

I'll just keep praying, claiming the promises and being firm and loving her when she allows me.  I don't know of any other way to help her.

4 comments:

GB's Mom said...

"She can be affectionate and sweet and funny and cuddly. She is all that and very loving this morning, but I haven't crossed her will yet. She wants what she wants when she wants it." I could have written this about Hope.

Kelly said...

ditto you and GB's mom.

This is Jackson.

Hubby and I were discussing this tonight in the van. He can be so pleasant and such joy to be around and oh boy he can be horrible if he doesn't get his way.

It is so sad to me. I pray he can find inner happiness and doesn't live his whole life letting his circumstances dictate his attitude and joy.

It sure is frustrating to parent a child like this.

Mama in Uganda said...

LOVE THIS POST!

You are right on mama.

She needs Jesus and His redemption, bottom line--as we all do :-)

Without Jesus, I would be a mess.

Keep lovin' her to the cross.

Blessings,
S

Jennifer said...

Ditto plus. We are down to a tantrum rage once every few months after many years and even then it is half-hearted and more of a self-soothing habit. Well done to disengage from the battle. I loved a good fight too much to step out. I am learning a lot from you. Thanks for sharing. It does get better over the long haul as God works in His time.