Saturday, December 31, 2011

The Last 24 Hours of 2011

(give or take a few)

Joy mixed with sorrow.

Today's highs and lows marching in quick succession,

typical of the three hundred and sixty-four preceding . . .

I heard a man interviewing a beautiful, young, red-headed missionary gal and her youthful, doctor husband,

"do you feel like you are really living LIFE?"

The girl chuckled, "I would say so!! I feel I have all the aspects of life; the ups and the downs. We are very much alive."

Today her baby died.

of malaria.

and was buried beside his sister.

The ups and the downs... The joys and the sorrows of a real life of sacrifice and service.

Their worst day, ever.

I have not sacrificed so much.

The last 24 hours have been a blessed Sabbath
and yet, it has had it's sorrows, too.

We had such joy in watching our big girls share their heart in song,
and great sadness in watching the little twins throw themselves over the cliff of emotional distortions in reckless abandon after 5 straight weeks of relative level-headedness.

I had peace in attending an agape feast, but feeling a wisp of a chill breeze I sensed myself grasping for the protective covering of the safe, all the while I was praying for courage to be open and vulnerable to spread warmth and to "draw warmth from the coldness. . ." Oh, I so lack that kind of courage!

Frustration mounted as the children wrangled with feelings very out of proportion. We had places to be, deadlines to meet, expectations to fulfill. Remorse moved in as I really succumbed to the feelings. . . we persisted and were on time. One twin was taken out of church for correction - the other chose to run down the stairs and through the foyer screaming. I dragged them both home and as I put them to bed for a nap, I welcomed the hour of quiet and committed myself to pray.

Grateful amazement filled my heart as I answered the phone and listened to our oldest share her answered prayer. God had led her to a young lady who wanted to know if it really were true, could it be possible to REALLY have a relationship with Jesus? Joy overflowed as Vanessa shared her love of Christ and how she KNEW Him. Together they sought the Lord in prayer. Thankfulness invaded me.

Distress took it's piece of my mind as a single-mother, a friend, unloaded her great trial. The designs of the devil to hurl darts at her children - so unfair! But God is not dead. Determination to keep them before the throne of Mercy and seek His council on her behalf overtook our distress.

Anticipation as another friend shared that she felt her husband was nearing a point of seeking Christ...

An uncomfortable unsureness threatened to derail our plans to invite people to join us for Bible study and united prayer, but we pushed through .... Time will tell the outcome.

Highs and lows marching in quick succession...

It's the end of a day.

It's the end of a year.


Elyssa said...

May you have a blessed new year! :-)

Mama in Uganda said...

Praying for the family who lost their precious son.


~Melissa said...

Angela, I would love to know more about the agape feast... we usually have bad weather this weekend... so bad we have cancelled other new years agape feasts... this year I cancelled it early, due to having a lack of help, but we ended up with a winter storm warning and likely no one would have ventured out. I just am looking for more ideas...

I am looking back over my past year as well... I will have a different year, for sure, as I have really cut down on outside commitments and it will be interesting to see where the Lord leads this coming year. Trying to find that stillness in the Lord. :P