Friday, December 2, 2011

Right When You Think It Will Never Happen

So, everybody knows how much of a struggle it has been to get the children to do any type of school exercise on their own. "Self- directed" was a hated concept.


They wanted me to do it, or at the least agree that their answer was correct before actually making a move. It matters not if we were talking beads, or colors, or pencil, they would not make a decision without input. Part of that is confidence and believing in themselves, and a fear of making a mistake. So, when push comes to shove and Mom won't give in, the most " logical"  thing to do was to make sure they did the problem completely wrong that way they were in control of the "mistakes" they made. That's what we call a control issue. Sometimes it was just clear they just didn't want to be bothered and they were plain refusing.

I did everything to make sure I was not going above their understanding, etc, etc, etc.....

You know the story~

Just when you think it will never happen, they are both doing it - HAPPILY!

~for two whole days now.

Missy has been flying through some readiness workbooks completing page after page of exercises previously unfathomable to her. Awesome mom that I am, I have given her the choice, "would you like to scrub the shower for me or would you like to do a few pages in this book while I peel potatoes?"

Amazing!

I am sure to tell her she can only do X number of exercises that way I'm still in charge. 

James is marching through a math book. The concepts have all been taught - but getting him to do the work previously was just no fun at all. Just now he sat down and did 6 pages in about 30 minutes.

He had a choice. He could do some math or he could scrub the shower stall for me. It was up to him and I didn't mind which he chose.

"Oh, and by the way, kiddo, I am happy to answer your questions and clear up any confusion you may have. I am available. But I won't do your work. If you are not strong enough to do it then we'll put the book away and you can choose to clean the shower."

Magic.

And guess what?! He actually enjoys doing these pages.

P.S. Caught one of the kids estimating the labor intensity required to scrub said shower. No one has mentioned anything, but apparently compensation and benefits of getting an education far outweigh the perks in the life of a minimum wage job.

Bother.

I might have to clean the orange scum growing on the edge of the shower myself. : /

5 comments:

Kelly said...

Wonders never cease! LoL

Jennifer P said...

Love this! Good luck with the shower. I will live with the orange scum. And how do they manage to sucker me into answering all the questions? Well done, momma! One step forward!!!

Melissa said...

Hmmm, just when we don't think we can handle much more... that's when it happens. Just like labor... I can do it, I can do it, I can do it, ... I can't do it... I did it??? Tears of joy and relief... I've seen this pattern many a times in my own life over many things... I must be a slow learner! Either that or I need a lot of repetition! Praise God, that He continues to teach and train us... ever so diligently, not missing a step. What a wondrous God!

Molly said...

I saw your post on twist and shout. When you say she "works slow" that will impact her IQ score, because some of the IQ aspects are timed. but if she can complete things at her own speed, it's not a lack of intelligence! It might just mean she processes slowly, or has a working memory issue so it takes her longer to get the information from the back of her brain!

Hope this helps! If you have any questions, feel free to email me! (nobabynoblog at gmail dot com) Just know that testing is a moment in time, and doesn't change anything about your girl, it just hopefully explains a little more about her!

Laurel said...

Sounds like my house ... except my child will refuse to do either the school work or the shower scrubbing, and it will turn into an outright rage/battle.

So hard.

Laurel