We've had a busy, but calm two days.... Well, I say that having just finished putting both the tw*ns to bed and them missing out on going to Prayer Meeting. They wanted to go in the worst way, but neither one of them wanted to go potty before we left and when I quietly directed them to the toilet they burst into disrespectful talk and wild crying. That was the end of all chances of going out tonight. How very sad. I showered them both to calm them, dressed them in pajamas and held them. I gave them a choice of stopping the crying and having a story, or continuing their wailings and going straight to bed. Thankfully, they chose a story. The rest of the family left.
There is a real fear of being left behind, or alone. I'm constantly reassuring them that I will not leave them alone. They go with me or dad or I stay home with them. They are terrified of being left.
Last evening we went to the first part of a concert. Vanessa was playing her harp in the high school chamber orchestra. Even though she is homeschooled, she is invited to participate in the music program and she really enjoys it. Their chamber orchestra had participated in adjudications earlier in the day and they were rated SUPERIOR PLUS! Anyway, enough of the bragging, I'm getting back to the tw*ns. They really loved going and seeing Vanessa up on stage and they enjoy the music. We only stayed for the first 4 songs. It was just enough to peak an interest and not long enough to bore.
I direct a children's choir and a youth choir, and normally my husband is home to take care of the tw*ns, but today there was an orientation for Running Start (college for high schoolers paid by the government) and so I had him take Vanessa and I had to take the kiddos to choir. They were mesmerized! They sat in one spot without fidgeting the whole time. Choir was a little odd today because Vanessa is our pianist and since she was gone I had to play the accompaniment. . . Anyway, we are exposing the kids to new things all the time. They even had a visit to the orthodontist today to see one of the girls have her adjustment.
Today we completely enrolled in speech and occupational therapy at the little school down the road. The people there are VERY nice and I think this is going to be a good thing. We even ran into the principle who is a good friend of ours (also adopting ).
Potty training is still a challenge. They fight going in the bathroom, however, they will poop in the toilet now.... but they still poop a constant trickle in their pants.Today he was pretty good about going in and going pee on his own and she fought it every single time. She gets discouraged because she can't be successful about keeping her panties clean. I put them in diapers to go to choir and she cried in shame, but I knew I could not be taking them down to the restroom for two solid hours so she had to wear it. If anybody has some tips on training older kids please share. I've worn out my stash of tricks.
One thing that she does that is a little tiring - but I understand it, - is she tries to control everything that she possibly can. Just little stuff like - in the morning she will tell me "Tonight I take a bath". Come evening she says, "Tonight I take a bath. Morrow I take a shower".
In the morning she will insist on taking a shower. Or like last night.
"Morrow I have waffles breakfast."
I said, "I'm not promising anything."
In the morning she wakes up and says "Breakfast I have waffles."
I responded with, "Well, I don't have any (could have made them from scratch, but I'm in charge of my mornings) and so I think we are having hot cereal and shake."
Her, "WHY!"
Me, "I told you I don't have any waffles."
Her in an accusing tone, "My grandma (fostermom) have waffles."
Me, "That's nice. Are you having breakfast with Grandma this morning?"
Her, "Uh, no."
She ate her cereal.
She decides what she will wear "morrow" and eat and how she will bath and if she'll go for a hike or ride her bike. All for naught . . . I give her choices on the spur of the moment; lots of them, and I try to tell her everything I know about how the day is planned out before she tells me her plan.
I'm having more success with time-outs now that they are learning to follow my direction. If they sit quietly and behave the time-out is short. If they cry and scream and lose control it lasts until they calm down and sit quietly and behave. It's finally sinking in. Steve was not able to go to work all week because of his back and it was helpful to have him around to back me up all the time, every time.
Little guy has not been grouchy since Monday afternoon. Whew! Oh, and he's actually getting it that I don't want his fingers in his mouth or his coat collar all chewed up. He needs reminding, but he's learning.
Little Missy's hard, bloated belly is gone. She doesn't have that pot-belly look anymore, but she's a bottomless pit. I have to tell her when she's had enough. Her brother doesn't eat half what she puts away.