Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Such a RAD day !

I am so thankful Missy is off to school this morning. She did really well on our regular days off school, but starting yesterday she went into RAD mode and by this morning I'm starting to feel RAD. I don't even want to look the kiddo in the eye. I can be so grateful my husband was called off work and he's the one getting her to school.  It's so hard to bite my tongue and not tell her that her dress is on backwards before I realize that, of course she knows it's on backwards, she put it on that way. If I would just keep quiet it would magically turn around before she entered the school building (and it did). I fail miserably by reminding her what time it is and telling her to hurry, when in fact, she is purposefully dragging everything out.  Somehow I feel impelled to tell her she's going to miss breakfast if she doesn't show up at the table. Duh. She knows that so why do I fall into the trap of trying to get her where I want her when?

BUT isn't that what a mommy is suppose to do?

This is why it is so hard. A mom is suppose to help their child get things right and fed and dressed proper. A mom is suppose to give the child many little attentions and feedback at every turn.

Everything is so backwards in a situation like this. Everything you are suppose to do backfires. Instinctive mommy responses have the opposite desired effect. Pretty soon I'm so confused I just want to withhold any attention whatsoever and I'd like to pretend she isn't there. This isn't right either, of course, so we blunder on praying she'll snap out of it sooner than later.

My husband often says, "I fear for that kid."

We all fear for that kid. She is so unhappy and bent on trying to make the rest of the family unhappy. BUT she is oh, so charming and sweet to outsiders. As they say at school, "we just adore her".  People at church do too.  It's hard believe that she is in such great need of a miracle.


7 comments:

Mama in Uganda said...

My day exactly, with our little E. She spent the afternoon raking after nonsense behavior all morning...and my husband and I also fear for her, knowing that if she does not surrender to the Lord her life will be spent on the streets, or worse.

Sorry,
Summer

Carol Lindsay said...

Some days are just tough, hang in there.


http://adoptionpi.blogspot.com/

momof4boys said...

Brings back so many memories!

Mama D’s Dozen said...

I could have written every.single.word of this (except the backwards dress and husband staying home from work). Seriously.

Everyone at schools "adores" our Little Miss. She is "so sweet". She "bounds off the bus with a smile on her face every morning". Really? A smile? We only see a smile maybe once or twice a week from her. She loves going to school . . . and hates coming home. So sad. So hard.

Yesterday, RAD was all over our house, as well. It was a HARD day with Little Miss. Makes me DREAD summer . . .


Stay strong. You are an amazing mama. Keep up the good work.


Laurel :)

Sophie said...

I fear for my Delaney too.

She is JUST like Missy. She picks different things to manipulate at different times but they are JUST alike. I feel your frustration. Heck I live your SAME frustration. I wish this wasn't so hard. I love her but I don't really like her most of the time. When I do let myself really enjoy her then she makes sure she stabs the knife in and twists it really hard to make sure it doesn't happen again anytime soon. I long to have a good, healthy relationship with her. I hope and pray it happens one day. I fear it won't.

When you were talking about correcting before you even realize you have done it I thought of how frustrating that is, because Delaney gets me like that so many times each day. I get so upset with myself for letting her have that control over me. It is so hard not to do that because it is a natural motherly instinct to do so.

Praying for you.

GB's Mom said...

I am sorry. This is RAD. It is stressful to consistently do what our RADishes need because it is so counter-intuitive. :(

Jess said...

Oh how we all can relate! It's crazy making and can be so difficult to remember to not respond the way we moms think we should. And all of the outside opinions of our "little angels" can be so aggravating! Our newest addition puts her shoes on the wrong feet. Every.single.time. I made the mistake of correcting this several times, even getting mad when she acted like she didnt understand what I meant. I pretty much just ensured she would continue this behavior for a while. Oops. It happens, we slip up. Hang in there and know that you are not alone and the work you are doing IS helping!

~Jess @ fosteringinthedeepend.blogspot.com