I am so thankful Missy is off to school this morning. She did really well on our regular days off school, but starting yesterday she went into RAD mode and by this morning I'm starting to feel RAD. I don't even want to look the kiddo in the eye. I can be so grateful my husband was called off work and he's the one getting her to school. It's so hard to bite my tongue and not tell her that her dress is on backwards before I realize that, of course she knows it's on backwards, she put it on that way. If I would just keep quiet it would magically turn around before she entered the school building (and it did). I fail miserably by reminding her what time it is and telling her to hurry, when in fact, she is purposefully dragging everything out. Somehow I feel impelled to tell her she's going to miss breakfast if she doesn't show up at the table. Duh. She knows that so why do I fall into the trap of trying to get her where I want her when?
BUT isn't that what a mommy is suppose to do?
This is why it is so hard. A mom is suppose to help their child get things right and fed and dressed proper. A mom is suppose to give the child many little attentions and feedback at every turn.
Everything is so backwards in a situation like this. Everything you are suppose to do backfires. Instinctive mommy responses have the opposite desired effect. Pretty soon I'm so confused I just want to withhold any attention whatsoever and I'd like to pretend she isn't there. This isn't right either, of course, so we blunder on praying she'll snap out of it sooner than later.
My husband often says, "I fear for that kid."
We all fear for that kid. She is so unhappy and bent on trying to make the rest of the family unhappy. BUT she is oh, so charming and sweet to outsiders. As they say at school, "we just adore her". People at church do too. It's hard believe that she is in such great need of a miracle.