Thursday, February 10, 2011

OVERWHELMING

Steve is a great planner....

He plans and plans and plans.

Me not so much.

But I do see that it pays off when a person plans.

We are definitely enjoying our get-away!!

We had a very enjoyable evening and ate at a fancy place with an awesome, incredible view.

It took us awhile to just focus on being together and to stop talking about the stressful things in our lives like:

Money, the suburban that needs replacing, Brianna's health, when to start Christina's braces, our children' education, the balancing act of family, church, and work, the twins.... OH, MY! The twins and all that they need...

I had an IEP meeting at the school for the twins yesterday morning. The PT, OT, and Speech gals were there along with the principle (our friend Rhett).  Okay, I know the twins needs a lot of help, but there's nothing like sitting in a meeting talking about all their weaknesses and struggles and problems to remind me just how far we have to go, yet. It's OVERWHELMING to say the least. YES, they have come a LONG, LONG way. It's obvious and clear that we have made huge strides, but it feels like we are attempting to empty the ocean with a kid's sand bucket.

The teachers were encouraging, and I simply could not do it without them, however, they brought me back to a reality check and I left wondering how I could do more.

I have gotten used to the kids weird speech. I know what they are saying, I know what they are talking about and my brain fills in the blanks. People who don't live with them can't do that.

It's surprising to me that Missy comes off bright and "with it" to people so much more above Buster in many, many ways. She has some people fooled. In every test, and every assessment she is consistently behind her brother cognitively and  physically by about 2 years. Even the speech teacher doesn't think her speech issues are as big as her brother's... BUT I totally questioned her on that. I don't think 30 minutes once a week is giving her a total picture. She sees Buster as totally random and off the wall, which is sort of true, but I can always find the connection. Hey, at least he is thinking ! If this teacher would have known him a year ago.... talk about RANDOM!!! Hee Haw!!

I see progress, but it isn't enough. Both Steve and I both see that we need to be super careful about our expectations or we could inadvertently cause them undue frustration and even tantrums. For instance, we know that it is hard for Buster to tie his shoes. Physically he is NOT coordinated and it takes longer and is more tedious for him than the next person. Same with making his bed. It's hard for him. It takes a LOT of effort and determination to do it right and well. Does that mean we do those things for him? For sure, NO! Should I allow him to do a slip-shod job of it? NO! But we can't rush him. We have to be patient and understanding. We have to encourage him a lot because he lacks confidence. He must learn to be persevering and develop those skills rather than continue on in laziness hoping the world will take care of everything and him all by itself.

For Missy, making the bed and tying her shoe is not the issue. Physically she has mastered those things, which is kind of interesting because her gross motor skills are poor at best and her fine motor skills are described as 3 years behind her peers. It's her gross motor planning that get  her in great trouble :-)  Once started she will make the bed, but to get from the bed to the dresser and on to the task of choosing clothes and  getting dressed,  that's where the breakdown occurs.

Both children are hesitant to initiate play. They don't explore. They don't seem to have enough curiosity to propel them to try the unknown. Everything must be modeled and demonstrated and cued. Their spatial awareness, balance, and coordination are all poor. The lack of core strength effects their fine motor skills. They are stiff and rigid in their over all play. They do everything exactly as it has been modeled to them without the slightest deviation in set-up and routine, though their poor coordination throws them off and the ensuing frustration dampens their desire.


There has got to be a way to help them better. Pray with me on that.

Sooooooo, the blood test results are in


and

.....


.....

Missy is allergic to


Tomatoes!

GROAN.

That's all that showed up. The gluten and the dairy was not expected to show up, but here we are and I don't know where to head from here. I simply can't put them back on gluten yet. I see so many benefits. The doctor wants me to put them back on gluten for 2 months and then retest. I can't do it. Missy especially suffers on gluten.

My hubby is at his meeting. I'm thinking of finding the exercise machine.

Good day to you all!

2 comments:

C Dawn's bucket said...

Have you heard of the Floortime approach to help with the play/gross motor/breaking the set patterns stuff? It is a therapy approach that I was introduced to with my son who is on the Autism spectrum but I've found it to be really beneficial to my other son dealing with Trauma stuff as well. If you are interested in more info let me know.

Mama in Uganda said...

I love how you spoke of being patient and understanding.

The Lord reminds me quite a bit not to be like the Pharisees--'laying heavy wights on my children.'

Keep trusting God.

Blessings and love,
Summer