Thursday, December 2, 2010


J2B is nearly upon us. So much to do, so little time.  

Buster has been sweet and easily satisfied. 

Missy, not so much.

I've let her know what I expect and laid out the consequences of not living up to those expectations and then I have had to go my way and leave her up to her choices while I try and get some work done. 
She's mellowing out and maybe, 
just maybe
the attitude was just about seeing how much attention she could get.

I'm dealing with some deep feelings about this whole scenario. 
I am realizing these children could make a decision some day to follow Christ 
and then, again, 
they could just as surely make the decision not to.  
There's no guarantee 
any more than there was a guarantee 
that anyone would accept Jesus' sacrifice for themselves when He died..

In the end would it have been a waste of my energy and time? 
Obviously, Christ is faced with the same thing by his children, 
so I have to believe that it is worth the effort for Him... 
If ultimately, the children won't choose the Abundant Life is this segment of my life a failure? 
Is that how God  looks at it?

Steve says it's not about failing or succeeding. 
Our life is to be an extension of the Grace of Christ 
and a demonstration of His Grace to the world and to angels 
in the ultimate Great Controversy scheme of things. 
I believe that. It's absolutely true... 

Except I can't promise you I always show grace. 

When I fail Christ, I'm usually failing my children as well... and that puts the load of responsibility square on my shoulders. 
It shouldn't matter if the children reject my tender entreaties 
and regularly look for ways to press my hot buttons. 
I still need to show GRACE and unfortunately I come from a long line of degenerate humans, 
a hot tempered people,
all the way from the time of Cain and Abel... 

looks easier on paper than in real life.

For pity's sake, I shouldn't have any hot buttons! 

And then I get to thinking, so how's my impatience different from the twin's lack of self-control? 

It's not. 

And it all boils down to every one of us needing the same Grace of Christ.


sharon said...

I love your perspective - so true! Some day soon we have the privilege of reigning with Christ. Trials prepare us for that weighty responsiblility.

We not only reflect His mercy - but His justice too - as you daily have to do with the kiddo's shenanigans.

Anonymous said...

What you have described in your post couldn't describe my own experience better except that I realize it isn't as intense as your experience right now. But still... it is very, very true! Antionette

Mama in Uganda said...

The Lord spoke some VERY powerful things to me when we began the journey called adoption.

One of the questions He asked me was,

"Even if there is not fruit on the vine, will you still trust in Me?"

Even if some of your children never bear heavenly fruit by way of salvation through Christ, will you continue to trust that I called you to parent them?

After many tears, I answered my Lord,


Because, it is not about me.

Its about obedience.

I pray that this encourages you.

Love from the oven,