The Tables Turned

I know, I know. Three posts in one day is not allowed, but these days my brain is a sieve and if I don't write it down now I won't remember it tomorrow. Steve keeps saying, usually when he's laughing his head off at something the twins did or said, "I hope you are writing these things down!!"  Well, what does he think a blog is for? But anyway, that thing he wanted me to write down yesterday, something Buster said that was so funny... yea, well, I can't remember it 'cause I didn't write it down right then. And neither can he.

Today started off with a little sibling rivalry. They weren't even out of bed yet. Buster says to her, "You aren't going swimming today!! (Kind of like, "neener, neener, neener.... I'm looking to make you mad.")

Her: "Yes, I am! I'm calling the cops!!"

Him: "NoooOOOOooooOOOOoooOOO!" ( Sound of a police siren in the word no.) "You are NOT going swimming today!"

Her: "I'm calling the cops!!!!!"

Him: "NoooOOOooooOOOOooooOOO!"

ad nausea-um...

Until finally Christina notices it getting louder and louder and investigates and tells them to "STOP it".  We are working on her bossiness. She should have deferred it to me, but anyway I was still in bed.

Our guests left later in the morning and I was reading something on the couch when I finally clued into another rather obnoxious conversation.

her: "You aren't going swimming today. You pee your pants!! You stay home all by yourself. You naughty boy."

him: "No, I not! I go swimming today. I not pee my pants today. You stay home by yourself."

her: "NO!! You stay home. You pee your pants!!!!!!! I go swimming today and you not".

him: "Mom, I not go swimming? I stay home by myself?"

Argh!

Guess who landed in time out.

Little Miss definitely had a case of attitude today. She became downright disrespectful when I asked her to drink her water. I thought I had nipped it in the bud, but she gave one last defiant growl that brought Dad into the picture. We worked with her and she said sorry.... but threw in a parting insolent remark. As our eyes met, Steve and I  smiled a knowing look. I said, "We are choosing to now do battle."

It was a conscious decision to on our part to enter the fray. We could have backed off and ignored it or smoothed over it somehow, but I'm sure it would have only reinforced her disrespect. I knew that my next words would bring out the worst in her. She had been fairly warned and I dropped the bomb. "I'm sorry sweetie, you have just lost your swimming privilege for the day. You can choose to be respectful and obey or you can choose to make it hard for yourself."

She went into a full blown tantrum. Steve removed her from the kitchen to the front porch where she threw herself on her back. He put her hiking boots on while I held her head. I prayed aloud for a change of heart. Then Steve took her  by the hand and firmly said, "Screaming is no longer allowed." She stopped. (Nothing short of amazing, really.)

They hiked the mountain in complete silence. He sat her on the first ridge where she whimpered and after awhile he asked, "May I ask you something? Why do you choose to make it so hard on yourself?  . . . You must always obey and respect Mommy."

The next thing I knew they were back in the garden where I was weeding and she was her happy little self. She apologized and was great after that. She did not go swimming, but guess who kept his pants dry for a second day in a row and did go swimming? Yup. The tables were turned. She got to watch while he got to swim.

I did sign them both up for swimming lessons starting tomorrow. Am I nuts for thinking they'll both make it to lessons?

Steve and I debriefed.
We decided we are learning. We are slow, but we are learning.
We agree that allowing all-out screaming, even outside, is only fueling the rage and reinforcing their anger.
We think we are understanding suicide a little more... because when we begin taking away privileges, etc... their rights and their passion becomes their whole object and all they may lose means nothing ( for the moment - later when they come to their senses it means a whole lot).
We still feel the mountain is ideal for discipline, because it takes them away from the situation and allows them time to cool and begin to think.
We are seeing that the tantrums are fewer and shorter. Progress!!
The Lord is working. We see it. (Believe it or not!)