This just happened and it happens on a regular basis. I thought I would throw it out there and see how other moms deal with this kind of thing.
I just described Missy in a lengthy blog post.... and I mentioned how she desires control. Here is an example... minor, but classic:
Me: Let's brush out your hair.
Her: Why? (that's just standard. I don't even answer that anymore.)
I start undoing the braids and brushing it out.
Me: It sure is curly today.
As I start to do it in a pony she says
Her: I want two braids.
She always waits until I start a hairdo and then states that she wants the opposite. If I am smart on some days I ask her what she wants before we get to this point and then I'm still in charge but giving her options.
Me: Oh, sorry, kiddo. I already started this and I'm not doing braids today.
Her: I WANT TWO BRAIDS!
Me: No, I am not doing braids today. I'm the mom and I decide. You are the little girl and I take care of you.
Her: I'm in charge!!
She's serious and very bold, but she knows she won't get away with it. She knows I'll make her turn it around and tell me who is really in charge. Somehow she has this great need to assert her power. It reminds of the kids who say to their adoptive moms, "You're not my real mom. You can't tell me what to do." However, she does not even give another person a smidgen of authority. She's6 and she's it.
1 comment:
Reminds me of me. :) I was a totally stubborn child who continually challenged my mom’s authority. Here’s a quote, which in retrospect, would have been helpful for my situation:
There are times when the determination of the mother meets the determination of the child, when the firm, matured will of the mother meets the unreasoning will of the child, and when either the mother rules because of her advantage of age and experience, or there is a ruling of the older will by the younger, undisciplined will of the child. At such times there is need of great wisdom; for by unwise management, by stern compulsion, the child may be spoiled for this life and the next. By a lack of wisdom everything may be lost.
This is a crisis that should seldom be permitted to come, for both mother and child will have a hard struggle. Great care should be shown to avoid such an issue. But once such an issue is entered into, the child must be led to yield to the superior wisdom of the parent. The mother is to keep her words under perfect control. There are to be no loud-voiced commands. Nothing is to be done that will develop a defiant spirit in the child. The mother must study how to deal with him in such a way that he will be drawn to Jesus. She must pray in faith that Satan shall not be victor over the child's will. The heavenly angels are watching the scene.
The mother must realize that God is her helper, that love is her success, her power. If she is a wise Christian, she will not attempt to force the child into submission. She will pray; and as she prays, she will be conscious of a renewal of spiritual life within herself. And she will see that at the same time the power that is working in her is working also in the child. And the child, in the place of being compelled, is led and grows gentler; and the battle is gained. CG 211, 212
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