Regression

I haven't seen this kind of ongoing disrespect from Little Missy since about the middle of June. I'm looking for the positive here.... so that's about a month of fairly smooth sailing. I have a lot to be thankful for. There were a couple of isolated incidences, the pool episode and the water tantrum in the last 4 weeks, but she was able to snap out of it and carry on. Yesterday turned out to be a hard, hard day for her (and everybody else who lives with her). She reverted back to her old ways. She became hard, distrustful and disrespectful. I have no real clue why except that pride comes before a fall and she was definitely feeling superior to her brother.  I'm back to stating my expectations at every move. We are back to the basics and everything is a privilege earned. She has started her morning over twice already.

Little guy went quite awhile without peeing his pants, but suddenly he's peeing every single time he doesn't get his way. We've come down hard on it because it is utter defiance. It hasn't helped. Impulse is stronger than rationale.  Steve and I talked and decided to change directions on it. If he gets a reaction and a consequence for reacting to our decisions and authority than maybe he is, in a sad kind of way, getting what he wants. Some extra attention for disagreeing with us and a reaction to him getting mad may be satisfying enough to him that he'd put up with the consequences.

I told him this morning that if he wants to pee in his pants it's fine with me. (He didn't like that.) I told him I have no problem with it. He can go ahead and pee his pants whenever he wants to, but just know that when he is done he will have to change his clothes and rinse them out and since he is allotted one pair of pants/shorts a day he can spend the rest of the day in his room since no decent person runs around naked. The pool is still off limits on days he does this.

It doesn't seem like I changed anything. In a big sense I have, though. I will no longer be sad about his choice. I will no longer try to help him see the light. I will not have any expectations. I will say nothing. It's his choice. He can live with the consequences of his choosing and it is my hope that soon he will see that the only person he is hurting is himself. For me it is not worth it. I am not going to try and help him overcome this one anymore.  There are more important things to work on.