Sunday, March 10, 2013

Like Starting from Scratch

But starting nearly 3, 4, and 5 years late.

These kids know very little about how to behave. We're attempting to teach them the basics. No means no. It does not mean that at sound of those two little letters, you are to throw yourself and bang your head in hopes of being seen as a victim so that you'll get what you want.

Loud crying seems to be their favorite way to get their way. It is instantaneous - only you should see their surprise that it has very little effect on anybody here. The twins have taught us well. That kind of crying means absolutely nothing to me or anybody else who lives here. The saying is, "Crying will get you no where."

They try to be sneaky.  Unfortunately for them, we are well versed in that trade, too. We are familiar with a much higher level of manipulation than they have ever thought of, yet.

Their play is wild and violent. They are constantly harassing each other. The little guy is vindictive. If he's been told no he will break the nearest thing. He's thrown large rocks at the house. He beats on his siblings. He hits a lot. They threaten to "call the cops" on each other all the time.

They don't know what to think of us. They might protest time-out loudly and refuse, or they take it bravely with little concern.

There are sweet moments.... but I would generally say these kids are just so unhappy. As a friend observed, they are angry children. What I would give to know why.

The twins have suddenly risen to a new level of maturity. James especially. Missy is sick with a cold and is feeling yucky.

James and I are foraging ahead with Math It. He likes the game aspect of it, but he's also enjoying his accomplishments and timed tests and 100%. He seldom experiences success at school. I need to find out why. They are doing fractions at school. He seemed to grasp the concept, but was answering every problem wrong. I corrected the one misconception and he got a 100% after that. I looked at his papers from school and every single fraction problem was wrong in the same way. No one had ever pointed out the one thing he did not know. How can that be?

Brianna took James to the violin concert with her. Actually, she took Andrew too, because she needed his driving skills to get there. Missy is miffed she could not go - she's laying on the couch complaining about it. Vanessa took Cookie to the church with her to hang posters... Christina is at her symphony orchestra all day practice camp. Big D is attempting homework - circling N's on a paper. Little D's world has been made small. I used the table and chairs to mark out a play area that he is confined to for the next hour. I'm suppose to be planting tomato seeds, but I haven't been able to shake the headache yet.


Vertical Mom said...

Angry? I don't know their story but from the little you've said about neglect, it seems that it might be justified. They've been left to parent themselves and, now? It's very confusing to suddenly have a stranger telling them what to do. I think you are THE PERFECT foster parent for them. If only mom would embrace your help :-( What a blessing you will be to them! I hope your migraine is better!

Jennifer P said...

Mad is sad. So sad. And the math thing? That is what finally prompted me to homeschool. My daughter came home with "lovely student" and "great to have in class" but never did grasp those math concepts. Yeah for the twins to have a re-focus.

Oldqueen44 said...

I just don't even know what to say. I sympathize with your headache. You are either brave or crazy to confront the new kid challenge. You most certainly should get some jewels in your future crown... and, umm, mystified.