Friday, March 8, 2013

Crawling to the Finish Line....

Of Friday. So exhausted.

Sent Steve and 6 of the gang to our friend's house without me. I kept Missy and Cookie and Little D. Missy cried but with her CPAP on no one can hear her. I felt sorry for her. (a little).

Cookie and Little D went to bed quite happily. I gave them the option of sleeping on the floor or in the bed. Their choice. She chose her bed and he chose the floor. Actually, I gave them the option of sleeping sitting up if they wanted. HA! One learns to think outside the box eventually. I asked Cookie if she were going to scream and cry tonight or if she was planning on being a big girl. She matter of factly replied that she was a big girl and that was that. He followed suit. And now I know for sure what I had suspected.... Big D is the real screamer. His fit seems staged and quite fake, but out of control.

I met grandma and Auntie and some cousins quite by accident. The kiddos were in the car and they started exclaiming they wanted to see Grandma!! Over and over. I asked where is she? and they indicated she was parked right next to us. I rolled down the window and our eyes met and realization dawned. (Something about that great big van of ours and our location, but with our tinted windows they could see nothing). We visited and the kids were kissed and hugged. She's doing everything she can to get on board with the process of supporting the kids. The Auntie told me that our bedtime experience is typical. It takes them an hour of screaming and crying to fall asleep, so this isn't because they are afraid or that traumatized by the recent events.

Shopping for clothes, shoes and coats with the kids was an exhausting experience. Cookie would have come home with 24 sparkly, frilly, poofy dresses if she could have. All the necklaces, bracelets, tiaras, barrettes, sparkly shoes, purses, hats and sunglasses, lipstick and nail polish were on "her" list. In fact we made it to the cash register with quite a stash of accessories I had not even noticed. Little D was bored out of his mind and took to spitting, begging for the bathroom every 5 minutes, stuffing his pockets with candy, and ripping price stickers off of everything he could reach. Good thing I didn't have Big D.

{A side note: I have been taking Cell Food for three weeks and for three weeks I have not had a migraine - which is a record. I thought I had found the cure. Think again. Well, the last two days have been horrid that way. NOTHING relieves the pain. I couldn't think of a worse time for this migraine.Shopping I was in a full sweat with the hot flashes and nausea that comes with the smashing headache.}

Food is a real  issue for these new kids, but yay for spaghetti ~!  They eat spaghetti. Whew! They won't starve to death after all.

I had three good helpers in the garden today. We planted kale, mizuna, lettuce, and just about every other kind of early spring green possible.

Buddy's Mom is kind of reliving her trauma of having her kids taken away because of these new foster kids. She's heard  the story - not through me, and is feeling the other mother's pain deeply. She couldn't sleep last night and she would help in some way if she could. Their stories are not really similar outside of the fact that their kids have been taken into care. Buddy's mom is an amazingly strong person and she knew she had to trust the process and that ultimately she needed all the help being offered.... This other mother is, I gather, much younger and perhaps more fearful and less trusting. I pray that she will understand her part in getting her life put back together quickly for the children's sake.

Well, it's another choir concert in the morning. It's at the big church this time. And, yes, I have lined up some help. The kids' social worker's daughter is in our choir. Can you think of a more likely candidate for watching the kids for an hour while I direct the choir?  I also asked her sister-in-law (almost licensed foster care mom) to help, too.

P.S. Big D came home. I asked him what his plans were tonight. I asked if crying and carrying on was part of his agenda. He said no. I told him the other kids were quiet and it would be a big help if he would not disturb them. I told him he could be wherever he wanted in his room and he could even just sit in there if he wanted, but I expected him to be a big boy and not holler. He agreed.

Ta-da!  Everybody is asleep. Well, nearly everybody. The girls are out at the Nazarene church providing music for an hour of their all night prayer / praise meeting with the Kahler girls. Wish you all could hear them!! Their practice was very inspiring this afternoon.


Emily said...

I ache for their momma, too. I hope she is able to do what she needs to do to get the kiddos back. Our girls' mom had so many opportunities...and she didn't do anything. It's so sad.

I'm glad you had an easier night with bedtime. The structure (and understanding) that you bring will be so great for them.

I look forward to the day when we can reopen as a foster home. We need to move first...we're at legal capacity right now.

Emily said...

P.S. I pray that when you wake up this morning, that migraine will be nothing but a memory.

Vertical Mom said...

Good heavens, Angela! I'm tired just reading all of that! Praying that you find a new rhythm.