Happening right now.
It's unbelievable. While my insides quiver and tears threaten to spill from the intense emotions.... I give not an outward sign that it fazes me in the least. I can't. It's survival.
The screaming, stomping, spitting in my face, attempts to break windows, slamming of doors and bench lids, of being called stupid, blaming, and the works.... all happening while I sit here and pretend not to hear or see. She's everywhere. She is, of course, all I can see or hear.
Eventually she sees it isn't working and escalates it enough that I remove her from the house. She can tantrum on the porch. I tell her it is enough. I tell her I am sorry for her. I tell her I love her.
But apparently it isn't enough. She screams that she hates me.
Why this tornado? She was playing chicken with the bus again.... and she lost, second morning in a row.
Yesterday saw her running behind the bus screaming but it would not stop.
Today she did not even make it that far. She was looking to push buttons and I refused to acknowledge the nonsense. She did her chores backwards, or tried to get away with not doing them at all. She sat and watched the world go by all the while looking for a reaction. She got none. I can imagine how frustrating that would be.
The fury is beginning to fade. I think I'll go take a shower and get ready to walk to school.
The storm abated and I asked her to come in. She laid down and did nothing as she was thoroughly exhausted. Suddenly after half an hour she popped up and asked for breakfast. From there she moved through her chores and got ready to walk with me to school. She had nothing to say about anything.
I prayed over her and we walked/ran the nearly 3 miles to school. I can't say I was able to connect with her on any kind of heart level. We said our "love yous' at the school door. I took a second to remind her that she had said she hated me just a while before. I asked her what she really wished she had said. She responded with, "I love you."