D'sozo Update

Still going strong. Unbelievably strong! 

God's grace is amazing.

These young people are dedicated to the task at hand!

So, tell me, How does one little country church
raise so many incredibly gifted speakers?

Dakota shared the plan of salvation last night.
I saw tears. Hearts were moved.
She spoke from her heart.

She's a born speaker, but the Spirit was there.

Julia had the health talk.
Natalie spoke Thursday evening and Max had the health talk.
I wonder who speaks tonight.
Maybe, Brianna.

We've had a pretty consistent attendance of non-members. 
They don't really have much choice..lol ... if they say they are interested 
then don't show up, several young people are sure to visit them the next day,
and the next day,
and the next day!

Mixed Reaction

The kiddos had a mixed reaction to going home.

They definitely want mom. As Little D put it, "I want to keep her!"

BUT when I told them they were going home they did not so much as blink an eye. I repeated myself and there still was no response.  After a bit Big D said, "To my house?"

Cookie then wanted to make sure she had all her dresses.  When the driver came they wanted to carry their things into the car, but Cookie was anything but cooperative and wouldn't allow us to buckle her in.

They were anxious to go and a tad bit unsure about leaving.

Steve was sad he wasn't here to say goodbye. He and Missy are at Children's Hospital. I am much relieved and  will admit to pray that these three go home sooner than later. I felt this was more than I could properly keep a handle on, maybe it's because the girls' have been SO very busy and I've felt like I'm not able keep everything up like I want it.

One thing is true. We introduced them to prayer, Bible songs and stories. They loved worship time, though they continually made noise and tried to be the center of attention for the whole time. My prayer is that God will go with them and they will live the life they deserve.

Happy Dance!

Tomorrow I get to tell three precious little children that after breakfast they are going HOME!

Happy for them.
Happy for their mom.
Happy for me.

I'm tired.

Everybody gets a new start.

Onion Juice

It was nearly 11 PM. I was sound a sleep.

"Mom!"

~ Right by my ear. I screeched. I was startled out of a deep sleep.

He was having an earache and he couldn't sleep. 

So I got the last onion out of the fridge and cut a thick end off 

and microwaved it for 45 seconds. It seemed soft enough. I squeezed the juice out of it and dripped it down into his ear. The effect was nearly immediate and he went right back to sleep.

I was probably as thankful as he that our night would have no more interruptions.

Two days after our "TRAFFIC" episode where he told me he didn't like me anymore,

James sidled up to me on our hike and held my hand.

"Mom, I love you."

I love you, too kiddo.

"Mom, I really love you."

I really love you too!

"Mom, I'm glad you are my mom and I really do like you."

 Ah! stop and recognize this for what it is;

an apology and a taking back of words...

It was a little "onion juice" on my pain, if you will.

I recognized what kind of thought process it took to come to me and elude to a problem that occured 2 days before. I know what it cost him to retract his words.

The next night when I added 4 new addition facts to learn

he ended up on the porch screaming that he hated me... :-/

BUT I know it's not true.

these are words in the heat of the moment...

It was short lived.

A little onion juice goes a long ways... I'll have you know!

Have Fun While You're At IT!!

One never knows what they'll find on that camera of mine!!

Here's some of the randomness of this week:

Unwitting...

There had been NO contact with mom until court... And then she agreed to visit her children ONLY if the visits were contacted out to an agency that doesn't work for the state. She won't work with the state, period, so it has been arranged for Children's Home Society to provide " therapeutic" visits for this mother and her three musketeers.

I usually carefully choose the children's clothes for visits. Always their best outfits. I managed to dress two this morning. Someone else took care of Little D's clothing.

You can only imagine my chagrin at realizing just now what his shirt says......

I actually thought it said "mom's A team player". Hint hint, right?!

Symphony

Roses James gave Christina after the concert.

It may be her last concert with the Icicle Creek Symphony. She coming up to the finish line of homeschooling. The college entrance exam stares her in the face.  Next week she'll show us if she knows her stuff! :-)

Christina had a nice solo part in the symphony. She did well.

Nick-named the Snowy Owl's Flight, this concert was held in the brand-new Snowy Owl concert hall built in the woods up Icicle Creek.

 One of the coaches and a friend who has played in this youth symphony for seven years!

 We might have left the little kids at home (with Vanessa) but we still managed to fill the van with the neighborhood kids. Mary and Angela joined us and a couple other families we know were there because their girls were playing, too.

It was a lovely evening out.

Never Say Never

But seriously, I think I might have a choice....
I would never volunteer for three this close together again.  Oh, wait. I didn't volunteer, did I? But I did say yes.

These guys are so quick. So full of mischief. OH MY!

I'm so tired ~ as my sink full of dirty dishes will attest. I'm not going to do them, either, even though we have guests (human and animal).

Today was controlled... even Missy, who had Steve really worried yesterday, was easy to redirect.

D'Sozo

The Lord has appointed the youth to be His helping hand.

With such an army of workers as our youth, rightly trained, might furnish, how soon the message of a crucified, risen, and soon-coming Saviour might be carried to the whole world!

We have an army of youth today who can do much if they are properly directed and encouraged. We want our children to believe the truth. We want them to be blessed of God. We want them to act a part in well-organized plans for helping other youth. Let all be so trained that they may rightly represent the truth, giving the reason of the hope that is within them, and honoring God in any branch of the work where they are qualified to labor.  

EGW

We are the honored parents of girls who are a part of that army of youth along with quite a number of other excited and zealous young people.

Vanessa, Brianna, Christina, Natalie, Ellie, Garhett, Mitchell, Tori, Shiana, Julia, Dakota, McKenzie, Isabelle, Sam, Chris, and others I can't think of right now 

joined together to form a strong outreach team.

 Such excited enthusiasm and  fire for the Lord as in these  young people, you may never have seen.

Even younger kids caught the spirit, Peyton and Grace, Jared and Joyanna were thrilled to go door-to-door day after day all week to share their faith.

Kendall and Lacey came from Alaska.

Julianna, and Stephanie came from Walla Walla.

Max came from Virginia. 

It was a blessing to hear their stories yesterday at church...

It's even more exciting to hear them preach the WORD!

Brianna spoke Friday night. Kendell gave the health talk.

Garhett spoke last night. Stephanie gave the health talk.

Tonight Vanessa speaks...

They are happy for every single person that comes.

I think they had 10 non members the first night. 

 I don't know last night's numbers yet, but they hope for an even greater turn out tonight.

It's heart warming to see their joy.

D'Sozo is what they have called their effort.

It's a Greek word. 

Look it up.

Lamentations 3:21-26

This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. 

It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. 

They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. 

The LORD is my portion, saith my soul;

 therefore will I hope in him. 

The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.

It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD . 

These are the verses James is learning. 

These words apply

directly to yesterday's events. 

It is of the LORD's mercies we are not all dead...
We must all learn to quietly wait
for the LORD to work out things for us rather than getting all in huff
when it seems like life isn't going our way.
God is so very compassionate and this 
 is why I still have hope.

HOPE
for James, for Missy.... for me.

The LORD is good,
and
that's why we are still here.

 

One Flash of Temper and Life Could be Over

I don't know where my post went... It just disappeared. It even had a comment on it. How does that happen? I don't have time to write it properly now, but here's the gist ...

I took the twins out of school early and took them to the hospital for PT/OT evaluations. James had already done his PT on Tuesday and passed with flying colors.

Missy needs a little PT to build up core strength, and it was suggested she do more swimming, (her favorite) but she did very well in OT. James needs some OT. They are so opposite of each other.

Steve was working and he took his lunch time with us and he bought the kids something to eat at the cafeteria. All was happy.

James had quite a few dollars saved up from his eggs so I chatted with him about how his business was going as we drove to the bank to make a deposit. All was happy.

I parked across the street from the bank and we unbuckled to get out. James asked me if he could take the piece of foam given him for strengthening his hands at therapy into the bank. I told him we were just going to be a minute and that he should leave it in the van. I was totally oblivious as I talked about how we would not be as long as last time (when we opened his bank account). I walked around the front of the van to help with the door only to see James running straight into traffic. It's all a blur to me, but at least one car had to swerve...

I YELLED at him to stop!  I hollered at him to come back at once and explain what in the world he was thinking. He refused to speak to me or look me in the eye. I thought maybe I was coming on a bit too strong in my fright. I toned it down and asked him to tell me why he had done that. It took a long. long time but I was so shocked to find that he was angry with me. I had had no clue. I had told him he couldn't take the piece of foam into the bank he  he instantly flared up and ran into the traffic to make his point.

He got the "Stupider than stupid" lecture. So helpful, I know.... :-/ ! I let him know what I thought of his attempting to get himself hit by a car and smashed up to prove how horrible of a mother I am to so  thoughtlessly say no to a stupid 2 inch piece of sponge.

I was DEVASTATED.

Exasperated!

I decided to forgo the bank deposit. I was a shaking mess. Children and traffic are among my worse fear. I watched my sister get run over by a car once. She lived to tell about it, but it was a traumatic event none-the-less.

As I calmed I told James he has one hope. He needs Jesus. As I see it he hasn't long to live. All it would take is one instantaneous flair of temper to throw him in dangers' path and life would be over . . .

I made him hold my hand after that.

Steve and I talked...Steve agreed that it could be true. He might not have long to live. Ultimately we cannot take the responsibility  of his choices upon ourselves. We cannot save him from horrible, life threatening, split-second decisions made in a fit of temper no matter how hard we try, at least, not without making him a prisoner. Steve's comment was that our success in raising these children is not determined by how they turn out, but by how we react, treat and care for them. We don't have any other control.

I woke up at 4 AM thinking about this. I prayed for grace and strength to carry on... even when it seems so futile and I despair of getting through to him. Words are useless, but it came to me that God's Word is all powerful and could save him.  I decided that Bible memorization is our one powerful tool towards the restoration of his broken mind.

On a much happier note, James brought home two math papers from school. One was 100% correct and the other had 11 out of 12 correct. This is a first. I know that it is because I have been working so hard with him on math, but my joy was tempered by the fact that, in an instant, it could all be for naught. One flash of temper and life could be over for him.  And that's sobering.

It Never Ceases to Amaze Me

How Missy can completely disobey, and disregard time, and get all huffy about us reminding her that she needs to hurry to meet the bus, then absolutely blow a fuse when the bus comes and goes and she is still not even dressed!

It was spectacular.

But at least it only lasted 10 minutes.  I appealed to her dignity. Did she really want these little children witnessing the total ungluing of herself?  Believe me, they were watching.

Bordom and Crazies

It's snowing.

I know. What's that all about? It's the first day of spring.

I have these three musketeers bored to tears in the house. They don't have snow clothes to go outside. So we're stuck.

I'm a little antsy myself. I was sure it must be about lunch time by now....  when the big girls would come home, but alas, I recently looked at the clock and it's only 9:30!!!!!!!

PT Evaluation for James

at the hospital WENT FANTASTIC today!

He no longer qualifies for PT at the hospital. He's strong, and capable and can kick and throw and do anything the therapist asked of him.


I was very pleased.

Three years ago it was quite a different story.

Improvement

After wondering Sunday if I could do this, Monday went perfectly fine. Of, course it helps that Steve was home and backing me up, but those kids were really good. I was able to get the house back in order.

They are learning that I require them to put away one mess before they start another.
They are learning to stay in their seats during a meal.
They are learning that fruit and vegetables are sweet and yummy.
They are learning that they must eat what they have before they ask for more.
They are learning to ask for what they want instead of yelling and whining and demanding.
They are learning that wild behavior is not acceptable.
They are learning that....
Pouting garners no attention.
Screaming and banging your head means you will get time-out, not what you want.
Scrapping with each other means you don't get to play anymore.
You need to take your dirty clothes to the laundry and not just spread them all over the house.
If you ask for water,  dumping it on the floor because you don't want to drink it will earn you more water and time out until you do drink it.
If you say "Need to go potty" you MUST go to the bathroom and sit on the toilet, if nothing else. It is not an excuse to get away from time-out.

Andrew's final words before he left for home were these:

"Wow. You can really see the difference. They are so much calmer. They are actually really cute when they are not acting like little devils!"

It's true. Every day they are little calmer.

This morning the kiddos are on their way to a visit. Once again grandma has cut the visit short. Instead of the two hours allotted them, she is only taking an hour.

James is being a trooper. Happy. Working hard. Learning to play baseball. He's kept his pants dry for three days.

Missy has had a tantrum every day and is trying to get away with everything.  Yesterday she came home and found that I was not there and refuse to put her school stuff away and hang her coat. She refused to help put away the towels. She had a tantrum because she found her pink Lego mixed in with James' blue and white ones. Christina called me out of desperation and I told her to not try and deal with her, to just send her outside till I get home. Fifteen minutes later she refused to acknowledge us and stayed hidden somewhere around the barn. When she finally showed up I got her through her chores and gave her little jobs to do but her heart was not with me. I asked her if she wanted to make mom proud of her work or mad and she just said she didn't know. It came obvious she was trying to get a rise out of me. The joke was on her. I had to leave and her dad  put her to bed early.

Andrew is on his way home. He seems a lot better. He still has a ways to go, but I think he's going to do fine. He has been given kinship care of his adopted brother's child. The transition should happen really soon. He probably got more than he bargained for coming here. He is now familiar with kids transitioning into care from their birth families, anyway.

And for a bit of laughter: Little D was being screened by the CHET screener yesterday ( to see if he is on target developmentally.) The lady asked him to stand on one foot.

He did.

HERS!!

He went over and stood on one of her feet.

All three were hilarious. They did NONE of the expected. They answered everything with the most unusual response. Technically they were absolutely correct every time, just not what you would have thought. So funny.

Overwhemling.... and 300 Memory Verses Learned

I'm not sleeping. at. all.

Three kids thrown into our crazy life is a bit overwhelming. We see them calming, but it's hard to really surround three and take them in hand all at once. I see good things happening, but I don't know if I can keep up the pace. Steve thinks we can do it.

I think yesterday started to push me over the edge and make me really wonder . . . Buddy's family moved yesterday so Steve, Andrew and the girls were out there moving furniture at 8:30. I went later and got the boys so the parents could work more efficiently. Then the girls went back after their job at the Sunday church and cleaned the old house before lunch. We had Leasa here and she helped me with the kids in the morning. The girls and Leasa did their training and door-to-door work all afternoon until after supper. I was at home with 7 little kids, plus the neighbour's 7 hung out here. The 2 youngest foster kids were stinkers to the point that I told everybody they had to go outside because I couldn't keep a handle on all their mischief. So they went in the barn (against orders) and broke eggs. James then collected the rest of the eggs and slid them across the counter at me a little too hard. They landed on the floor in a big mess and it just seemed like the messes got bigger and bigger all afternoon.

Today I won't have the little boys and the twins will be in school for a good part of the day and Steve will be home to help with the new foster kids(from henceforth known as the Triplets) and maybe I won't be quite so overwelmed anymore. I just see all these appointments this week.... visits, dentists, new evaluations at the hospital for PT/OT/Speech for the twins for two days, music lessons, and possible school option for Big D and all that entails . . .

I took the kids who were listening and obeying to the little parade in our bitty town. That was two out of 5. James and Big D were pretty impressed with the fire engines and the motorcycles. Missy should have been there but when I asked her to buckle up she found 1001 things that she needed to do and when I left she was not in the car ( I had given her ten minutes to comply and we almost missed the parade).  She freaked and I told her through the window to run to the greenhouse where Steve was ....  she thought I was going to pick her up there. That was not my intention.  I was sending her to be with her dad so the other kids would not have to witness the sure to happen fireworks. Indeed! When we got back from the parade Steve was still sitting at the greenhouse with her. It was pretty spectacular from what I am told. Andrew was quite impressed and he was up at the house.

The big girls were at the parade with their friends handing out D'Sozo flyers. The people were hooting and hollering at the parade and holding up D'Sozo flyers and waving them. Girls thought it was awesome!

On another note last night I reached a goal on my scripture memorization using Scripture Typer. I have memorized and reviewed 300 verses since the beginning of February. Some of these verses are ones that I have memorized in the past, but I expanded the portions memorized by learning texts before and after and have learned a lot of new verses. Some scriptures that I had memorized as a child were relearned. I am memorizing Psalm 119 with the choir. I am part way through memorizing the book of James and I am in the third chapter. The entire book of James has fewer verses than Psalm 119, by the way. I am also memorizing Matthew chapter 5 right now. It's not  very hard chapter. I think I successfully typed in 18 verses of it last night fairly easily. Every verse seems quite familiar though I had never thought I had memorized it. I memorize every day. I keep current with all the reviews as they come up. It's a challenge, but a good one.

Cute

This had the girls in stitches.... (when the kiddos weren't around, of course.)

Little Miss Cookie (3years old) talking on the phone to her father in a syrupy sweet voice:

"Hi Daddy.
I love you.
You are my girl.
You are my baby girl!
You are my precious baby girl, daddy!"

I don't know much about this Daddy, but that just sort of melts my heart. Obviously he talks to his children very sweetly and he gained a great big star in my court.

Big D is very concerned about his upcoming birthday. According to him, his daddy "made" his 4rth birthday and he's worried that daddy won't be here to "make" his 5th birthday. He was begging his daddy to be there. Hopefully he can make the trip.

One more concert today. Steve is preaching in another town. Good grief, two weeks in a row of this craziness with new kids. I hate to put anybody up to watching them for me during the concert, they were SO VERY WILD last week, screaming and kicking and trying to run. If only the girls had a free hand, but they are a major part of the music, too. Hopefully they are calmer this week.

Leasa will arrive this morning to start the training with the youth for the upcoming D'SOZO project! Everybody is pretty excited.

Missy had sugar yesterday, lots of sugar. There was a violin/ piano party. James had wet his pants again and lied so he didn't get to go. (For lying, not wetting his pants, otherwise the kid would never get to do anything that's how bad the wetting has become. ) Interestingly enough, Missy turned into a bear when she got home, so maybe sugar does affect her. I sent her to bed early, but she's already beating James up this morning. Sigh. Guess who won't be in the concert this morning?!

Buddy's family got the keys to their new  house on our street.

25 Pounds of Chicken Feed Later

*I was appreciating the moment of peace while the kids were running around outside in the 60 degree weather.

Unbeknownst to me,

Missy was leading the children into mischief...

They dumped half the chicken feed out on the ground.

Missy is the only one tall enough to open the barn door,
strong enough to open the feed bin,
and silly enough to think it okay to cover the ground with three inches of chicken feed.

She's giving James her Walmart card to pay for damages.
She could have done morning chores for a week, but that seem too distasteful somehow, she'd rather give up the only money she has. Actually, she has no concept of money.

* Christina just went to the garage to get herself an Asian pear.

Every pear in the box has a big bite out of it. That would be a big *RAT?* 

Yeah, about the size of a 3 year old human child?

* Little D continually rocks on the bar stools. He's banned for safety's sake. I figured fifty requests to stop was probably over the limit.

*We did a bit better today.

Cookie is fast worming her way into hearts. She's funny. Cute. Sweet. and learning the limits very, very quickly.  From her thumbs up with one squinty eye and lopsided grin, to her cheesy face when you tease her, to her begging for "Auntie to tuck, tuck, tuck her in her bed", she knows how to engage people. She has calmed right down. She was just plain happy all day. I put her in time out once today.  We lost count on the boys. The boys cry for "Mommy" every time they are shown the limits. She doesn't. She just accepts it.

Privacy . . .

When I joined Google +  it changed all my name tags on my blog and everywhere from my pen name to my real name. 

This made it super easy to google me and find out 

anything and everything you ever wanted to know about me.

 Granted, that is my own fault for writing everything and anything
and stuff you didn't want to know.... 

BUT Christina helped me and we got every thing switched back to the pen name. 

Well, sort of. 

Facebook would not allow a pen name, so we reverted to my maiden name. 

No worries I am happily married and have no intention of going back 

to that hard to spell French name.  

I'm good with a name that is easy to spell, "like the truck!"

Just had a visit with the CASA.

We talked about how easy it is get info on the parents of  children in our care using Google. Oh my! Is it ever.

Google, Myspace, facebook, the local online Newspaper.

Oiy. That means it's just as easy for those people to look up the 

foster parents where their children are in care.

In most cases that would not be an issue and generally speaking the parents would not 

know the foster parents' name before it is known whether it is safe to let them know,

 but I think that's already out of the bag by accident.

AND NO.
The parent is not doing well with all this
and is not cooperating with Social Services

and is refusing to see her kids.

The CASA was buttering me up and telling me
we have quite a reputation for being such a good foster family.
Well, she said more, but I'll leave it at that.

A certain little boy is sitting in time-out.
I heard through the window
Big D say to Andrew,
"Are you going to tell on me?"
I didn't hear the answer, but I went to the door and jokingly asked
 "So are you going to tell on him?"
Andrew solemnly nodded his head and said,
"Yep, he was cussin!"

It's deja vu.
Spitting and the whole nine yards.

He's a Runner.... no more!

When they brought these kids to us Big D was wild and trying to escape and run out the door. One of the SW's caught him and the other said, "He's a runner!"

I was a little baffled.

And then they caught him again.

And I said, "Let him run. There's no where to go."

But so long as the SW were here we  kept him from running out the door. Maybe it was a pretty effective attention getting game in town.


Later we pretty much said, "The door is there, go if you want."


There's no street to worry about. It's unfamiliar territory. Where's a four year old going to go?  Is he going to chase coyotes, or find the cougar, bother the chickens, or get lost in the orchard?

Three days in, all of a sudden he decided he was afraid of the dog. Our big old golden retriever that doesn't so much as bark or whine is going to eat him up, apparently. Not. You have to recognize these behaviors for what they are. He's not actually afraid.

Now we're saying "GO OUTSIDE! Just GO play on the slide. Just GO and play...."

Kids. are. silly.

Andrew

It's a big day. Family conference at the University Medical Center for Andrew.

Peter is flying in from Calgary.

Andrew is quite anxious to have the report and to know if he's done staying at this crazy house and can go home or if he needs more therapy or even surgery.

I don't need to be at the conference to know he's a LOT better than when he came. His headaches seemed to have diminished considerably. He's around more. He really enjoys the children and plays with them and seems more at ease.


But to the family members praying for him. Keep praying. I don't think he's quite ready to go to work yet. His cognitive function frustrates him still, but he sees he is healing. Brain injuries take a LONG time to heal and some of that can't be speeded up.

When It Get's Crazy

We had a slight problem...

Someone knocked the brand new bottle of hairspray over and it started to spray
and spray
and spray
and spray 
until it was all gone.

There wasn't a thing anybody could do.

The family was chatting about some comments made....
you know the ones that seem ever re-occurring ~

"I could never do foster care. I could never give the kids back."

The girls were saying it makes it look like the person believes you are  hard-hearted
if you do foster care.
Steve's response: "The people who say they could never give the kids back
would BE the FIRST to give them back."

Foster kids might have suffered a lot,
they don't deserve it.
It isn't their fault.
They are innocent.
They've been denied opportunities
and the basic necessities...

but it doesn't make them 
little angels who soak up the tender loving care and appreciate all your efforts.
They've been denied discipline, too.
They've seen too much.
Heard the worst.
Neglect has hardened them.

BUT eventually a difference can be made.
It's not easy work, though.

We are seeing a big difference in the behavior of our three musketeers already.

They are calmer and they are coming to know our expectations.
They are eating and sleeping!

HOWEVER, 

I am having them play in separate corners this morning. 

Big D with the Legos in a living room corner. 

Little D in the dining room corner with polly pockets. 

Missy in her own room - I figure if she's too sick for school, she's too sick to play. At least during school hours.

Cookie is playing in her room with dolls ....

It's how we survive the crazies.

Trying to get Big D moved from one Head Start Program to one a lot closer. Not so easy.

Nits

Need I say more?

We have 5 days to take the kids to a doctor after they go into care, so today was the day for that....

The doctor was very, very interested in Cookie's hair

and as I watched I had a growing suspicion.

I had seen monkeys do that to each other....


He said they were old.

Nothing active that he could see.

So then I started to look and I pulled out a hair with a white thing on it and the little Cookie says,

"those are the eggs!"

OH, REALLY?!  Out of the mouth of babes.

It wasn't an egg. It was an old dead nit, but still.

She was obviously quite familiar with what we were looking at.

I'm so itchy it's not even funny.

Of course,

I'm always itchy as my scalp is covered in psoriasis,

but I certainly imagine it to be much MORE SO!

We're treating all three....

Sleep!

I got some sleep last night.

And that is worth a WHOLE POST.

The kiddos are settling in, keeping their pj's on, staying on their beds and not waking to cry.

YES! I feel so much better today.

Erie

This case is strange.

Everywhere I go there is someone who knows these kids.  I had the kiddos calling out to people at the store.... "Elijah!! Elijah!!!"

We went to a different church yesterday for the concert and there was the children's neighbor. She wanted info. Friend and Social Worker wouldn't give her any, but she felt free to talk. Later she sat by me. She didn't ask me anything, however she was more than willing to talk....

Social Worker asked her not to tell that she had seen the kids. Momma is still so very angry. Facts are, Momma will now know my name and where I go to church. It was a little odd in that the church we were doing the concert at made a big deal of me being the director and instead of the choir name up on the screen they had my name pasted up there.....

She also tried to befriend Social Worker or Social Worker's husband on facebook.

Fun, eh?

I don't feel threatened, but then I don't know Momma and what she is capable of.

She's so very young.

Like Starting from Scratch

But starting nearly 3, 4, and 5 years late.

These kids know very little about how to behave. We're attempting to teach them the basics. No means no. It does not mean that at sound of those two little letters, you are to throw yourself and bang your head in hopes of being seen as a victim so that you'll get what you want.

Loud crying seems to be their favorite way to get their way. It is instantaneous - only you should see their surprise that it has very little effect on anybody here. The twins have taught us well. That kind of crying means absolutely nothing to me or anybody else who lives here. The saying is, "Crying will get you no where."

They try to be sneaky.  Unfortunately for them, we are well versed in that trade, too. We are familiar with a much higher level of manipulation than they have ever thought of, yet.

Their play is wild and violent. They are constantly harassing each other. The little guy is vindictive. If he's been told no he will break the nearest thing. He's thrown large rocks at the house. He beats on his siblings. He hits a lot. They threaten to "call the cops" on each other all the time.

They don't know what to think of us. They might protest time-out loudly and refuse, or they take it bravely with little concern.

There are sweet moments.... but I would generally say these kids are just so unhappy. As a friend observed, they are angry children. What I would give to know why.

The twins have suddenly risen to a new level of maturity. James especially. Missy is sick with a cold and is feeling yucky.

James and I are foraging ahead with Math It. He likes the game aspect of it, but he's also enjoying his accomplishments and timed tests and 100%. He seldom experiences success at school. I need to find out why. They are doing fractions at school. He seemed to grasp the concept, but was answering every problem wrong. I corrected the one misconception and he got a 100% after that. I looked at his papers from school and every single fraction problem was wrong in the same way. No one had ever pointed out the one thing he did not know. How can that be?

Brianna took James to the violin concert with her. Actually, she took Andrew too, because she needed his driving skills to get there. Missy is miffed she could not go - she's laying on the couch complaining about it. Vanessa took Cookie to the church with her to hang posters... Christina is at her symphony orchestra all day practice camp. Big D is attempting homework - circling N's on a paper. Little D's world has been made small. I used the table and chairs to mark out a play area that he is confined to for the next hour. I'm suppose to be planting tomato seeds, but I haven't been able to shake the headache yet.

Eighteen!

Our beautiful girl turned 18 already.

How blessed we have been to have her in our lives!

 First we didn't have enough candles....

and then there were too many,

But we had a lot to celebrate, so too many was JUST fine!

At the last second we realized we had too much cake 

& on a whim 

we invited the 

neighbor kids to help us eat it.

They were only too willing to oblige.

The girls taught all the kids a couple of new hand clapping games.

Apparently Thomas is too old for such things,

even though the girls are many years his senior and they could play just fine.
Funny how that works.

In the end there wasn't a bite of anything left...

May the Lord bless you with many more happy years,
Brianna Grace!
We love you.

Crawling to the Finish Line....

Of Friday. So exhausted.

Sent Steve and 6 of the gang to our friend's house without me. I kept Missy and Cookie and Little D. Missy cried but with her CPAP on no one can hear her. I felt sorry for her. (a little).

Cookie and Little D went to bed quite happily. I gave them the option of sleeping on the floor or in the bed. Their choice. She chose her bed and he chose the floor. Actually, I gave them the option of sleeping sitting up if they wanted. HA! One learns to think outside the box eventually. I asked Cookie if she were going to scream and cry tonight or if she was planning on being a big girl. She matter of factly replied that she was a big girl and that was that. He followed suit. And now I know for sure what I had suspected.... Big D is the real screamer. His fit seems staged and quite fake, but out of control.

I met grandma and Auntie and some cousins quite by accident. The kiddos were in the car and they started exclaiming they wanted to see Grandma!! Over and over. I asked where is she? and they indicated she was parked right next to us. I rolled down the window and our eyes met and realization dawned. (Something about that great big van of ours and our location, but with our tinted windows they could see nothing). We visited and the kids were kissed and hugged. She's doing everything she can to get on board with the process of supporting the kids. The Auntie told me that our bedtime experience is typical. It takes them an hour of screaming and crying to fall asleep, so this isn't because they are afraid or that traumatized by the recent events.

Shopping for clothes, shoes and coats with the kids was an exhausting experience. Cookie would have come home with 24 sparkly, frilly, poofy dresses if she could have. All the necklaces, bracelets, tiaras, barrettes, sparkly shoes, purses, hats and sunglasses, lipstick and nail polish were on "her" list. In fact we made it to the cash register with quite a stash of accessories I had not even noticed. Little D was bored out of his mind and took to spitting, begging for the bathroom every 5 minutes, stuffing his pockets with candy, and ripping price stickers off of everything he could reach. Good thing I didn't have Big D.

{A side note: I have been taking Cell Food for three weeks and for three weeks I have not had a migraine - which is a record. I thought I had found the cure. Think again. Well, the last two days have been horrid that way. NOTHING relieves the pain. I couldn't think of a worse time for this migraine.Shopping I was in a full sweat with the hot flashes and nausea that comes with the smashing headache.}

Food is a real  issue for these new kids, but yay for spaghetti ~!  They eat spaghetti. Whew! They won't starve to death after all.

I had three good helpers in the garden today. We planted kale, mizuna, lettuce, and just about every other kind of early spring green possible.

Buddy's Mom is kind of reliving her trauma of having her kids taken away because of these new foster kids. She's heard  the story - not through me, and is feeling the other mother's pain deeply. She couldn't sleep last night and she would help in some way if she could. Their stories are not really similar outside of the fact that their kids have been taken into care. Buddy's mom is an amazingly strong person and she knew she had to trust the process and that ultimately she needed all the help being offered.... This other mother is, I gather, much younger and perhaps more fearful and less trusting. I pray that she will understand her part in getting her life put back together quickly for the children's sake.

Well, it's another choir concert in the morning. It's at the big church this time. And, yes, I have lined up some help. The kids' social worker's daughter is in our choir. Can you think of a more likely candidate for watching the kids for an hour while I direct the choir?  I also asked her sister-in-law (almost licensed foster care mom) to help, too.

P.S. Big D came home. I asked him what his plans were tonight. I asked if crying and carrying on was part of his agenda. He said no. I told him the other kids were quiet and it would be a big help if he would not disturb them. I told him he could be wherever he wanted in his room and he could even just sit in there if he wanted, but I expected him to be a big boy and not holler. He agreed.

Ta-da!  Everybody is asleep. Well, nearly everybody. The girls are out at the Nazarene church providing music for an hour of their all night prayer / praise meeting with the Kahler girls. Wish you all could hear them!! Their practice was very inspiring this afternoon.

Introducing....

The newest foster children.

Big D is 4 almost 5 and he's not actually very big. All his clothes are too big, though. He is the one who probably inflicted most of the bruises on his siblings with a kendema, but I don't think he's actually a really mean kid. Neglect is the culprit here. Things will escalate and get out of hand if no one is watching and guiding and supervising. He is super duper interested in the chickens. He checked the nesting boxes over and over all day and brought in one egg at a time. Considering we get 20 eggs a day that was a lot of trips to the hen house. He likes to help. I had him peel a dozen apples on the apple peeler yesterday and he was a stick-to-it worker and proud of his accomplishment. He doesn't like most food and asked for fruit loops and sugar so far, but he did eat an apple. He's in headstart which gives us a break because he is the most intense.

Little D is pretty mellow, but he can also yell and holler at his siblings to protect his rights. He can tease, too. He's 2 nearly 3 and talks like nobody's business. He's a pretty good size for his age. He can play outside like the rest of them. There's no leaving him behind. He eats better than the other two. He can whine. None have learned how to ask properly.Whenever he is unhappy or in trouble or anything he makes sure to bang his head hard on the wall or floor or chair to make himself the victim.

Then there's the Princess. Well, actually, Tough Cookie would better describe her, but it doesn't make a very good name and she has her girly girl side for sure. She loves dolls and is quiet. She loves to help. She's 3 going on 4. She's unfazed. She can play by herself in her own little make-believe-world. She is picky about her food but at least she finds things she likes and then goes around and takes it from her brothers...

They are all potty trained!! WHO HOOO!!! lol

Nighttime is a nightmare. Going to bed is the ultimate punishment (apparently). Every time they wake up the crying starts all over again and there is no consoling them.They sleep on the floor instead of the bed. They take off their pajama tops and wake up cold in the middle of the room with nothing to warm them .

I'm getting a clothes voucher this morning, so big shopping trip because we really need those clothes and shoes.

It is a bit disturbing that people outside the case can tell me things that they probably shouldn't know.... I'm pretty sure there has been a confidentiality breach somewhere that is a bit more than unusual.

And.... since Missy has a lot more to focus on than just herself she's managed to get to school on time and do what she's suppose to do. That's  nice.

Three Kids with Black -Eyes and Bruises

Moved in tonight.

All three are black and blue and have a black -eye each...

The one seems very insecure and definitely without boundaries. The other two are very mild and sweet. I can tell my house is going to be a perpetual mess. They have dumped the moon sand ALL over the kitchen floor. However, they are very happily playing with it and enjoying themselves thoroughly.

Fury Unleashed

Happening right now.

It's unbelievable.  While my insides quiver and tears threaten to spill from the intense emotions.... I give not an outward sign that it fazes me in the least. I can't. It's survival.

The screaming, stomping, spitting in my face, attempts to break windows, slamming of doors and bench lids, of being called stupid, blaming, and the works.... all happening while I sit here and pretend not to hear or see. She's everywhere. She is, of course, all I can see or hear.

Eventually she sees it isn't working and escalates it enough that I remove her from the house. She can tantrum on the porch. I tell her it is enough. I tell her I am sorry for her. I tell her I love her.

But apparently it isn't enough. She screams that she hates me.

Why this tornado? She was playing chicken with the bus again.... and she lost,  second morning in a row.

Yesterday saw her running behind the bus screaming but it would not stop.

Today she  did not even make it that far. She was looking to push buttons and I refused to acknowledge the nonsense. She did her chores backwards, or tried to get away with not doing them at all. She sat and watched the world go by all the while looking for a reaction. She got none. I can imagine how frustrating that would be.

The fury is beginning to fade. I think I'll go take a shower and get ready to walk to school.

***

The storm abated and I asked her to come in. She laid down and did nothing as she was thoroughly exhausted. Suddenly after half an hour she popped up and asked for breakfast. From there she moved through her chores and got ready to walk with me to school. She had nothing to say about anything.

I prayed over her and we walked/ran the nearly 3 miles to school. I can't say I was able to connect with her on any kind of heart level.  We said our "love yous' at the school door. I took a second to remind her that she had said she hated me just a while before. I asked her what she really wished she had said. She responded with, "I love you."

This Crazy Family

We have a great photographer,

we even have good looking subjects....

but getting them all to cooperate at once ~

tis a problem :-)

Trouble in the Barnyard!

Okay folks....

Not sure how this happened, but I did a whole post and when I pressed publish it was on the wrong blog. I'm not moving it.... so if you want to find out about our egg-eating hen and a rooster I can't get rid of and the good news about my bees, I guess you'll have to go here: http://flowerydivide.blogspot.com/

Three Years Today. . . . .

Two little children were brought into our lives to love.

It kind of strikes me odd that these people had no choices, no control, no options, no defenses.... what someone decided in an upstairs office decided their fate and that was that.  Not that I think a six year old has any capabilities of making any good decisions regarding their future, it's just weird and unfortunate, that's all. The biological family was out of the picture. The foster family had no say. Apparently we were the "chosen" family, but truth be known, I don't believe there was anyone else.....

My belief is that GOD was ultimately in control of the moves and transitions of these two helpless beings. Our family was plan B, though. Plan A with their biological family failed them.

Just how far they have come in three years is hard to explain. How far they will go to reach their best potential is even harder to say.  I've seen some glimpses of what that might look like recently and it's exciting and gives us courage to work on. There's always a little of that 2 steps forward, 3 steps back stuff to contend with to be sure. There undoubtedly will be struggles throughout their lives due to those that failed them in so many ways. I do see they have great potential, particularly if they allow the Lord to over-rule in their hearts.

Many blessings have come to us in these last three years through the twins. God has been faithful. He's given us more than we could ever ask or think. We can only be grateful.