Grey, Grey Days

It causes me a lot of pain in the back of my neck and upper back. I don't sleep well, I can hardly move, my motivation is in the dumps, and my allotment of patience at an all-time low.

And it won't stop raining!

I'd be a basket case if I lived in Portland, I think.

A whole row of cucumbers is dead due to damping off. My peppers are drowning.  The clouds were so black it felt like night in the middle of the afternoon.


Apparently, it effects the kiddos, also.

Missy was the biggest, blackest storm cloud we dealt with yesterday. I should say Steve dealt with. He asked her to do a simple thing and she put up all her walls. He sat down beside her and patiently waited for more than three hours for her to comply.

I escaped to town. Just watching her blatantly disrespecting him was sending my blood pressure up into space. Thankfully he wasn't fazed. He had the day off and it was raining a downpour so he had all the time in the world to see that she obeyed.

She finally did.

I'll note that this kid who puts on a front that she knows nothing, can do nothing, and is just a helpless, incapable toddler.... yes, this same child it has been discovered.... CAN READ.

Not amazingly, or anything, but totally appropriate for her age and far better than one would expect for the amount of instruction in this area. Here I thought she didn't know her letter sounds. I knew she had learned a few, but it had been a long time since I had fought hard enough to try teaching her and I didn't know she retains everything. She has a stellar memory - we are finding out. SHE KNOWS far more than she wants you to figure out.

I caught her in a good moment day before yesterday. I believe it was a miracle straight from heaven after I fell on my knees sobbing out to God that I didn't know how I was going to get through the day with these kids. She made a turn around. It wasn't obvious at first. James turn around was more apparent. He and I sat down to read a story - me reading to him, and him reading to me and she wanted in on the cuddling. She was in stand-off over a pre-school picture I had asked to color and paste. She wanted to do a different one, but this was the one next in the book and I wanted her to learn to be disciplined and do things in order. She wouldn't . Well, then she wanted in on the story time and I told her that she could come sit on my lap soon as her page was done. And she did.

Next I was doing phonics with James in his workbook. The jealousy over who gets the full attention ranks right up there. . . So she asked to do "school", too. Both her speech teachers have been trying to teach her sequencing with these picture squares and trying to have her put them in the right order and use the words: first, next , then, last, etc... She's giving them grief over it. She acts like she can't. I brought out the box of sequencing pictures and handed her a set. Of course, she couldn't do it, and needed a ton of help which was taking away from what I needed to do with James. All by design of course. So I got up and grabbed a container of carob chips. I said, if you can put these pics in order by yourself with no help you may have a carob chip. If you can't, I will get a carob chip.

Ta-da!!!

She did a ton of sequencing stories all by herself and naturally used the words: first, last, next, before, then, second, third, and last. What a rat! She did this for more than an hour.

Next she played with a box of analog puzzles and she did very well! We played the analog game with James and she has no trouble with the concept.

Brianna saw her good mood and asked if she could teach her some phonics. They went over the 26 letters and their sounds a total of 3 x's and she knows them all. She even read a Bible story to Steve from one of those really easy beginner books.


So, caught off guard, she showed us her stuff.... and the next day she was MAD!

All DAY.

I came home from town and sat down to do phonics and reading with James. Little Miss Muffet said she wanted to do school, too. I brought out a sequencing story and she could not do it. There was drama, drama, drama until I told her she had to be outside so James could think in peace. Outside she screamed and carried on. I called her for supper and she never came 'cause I had the audacity to ask her to wash her hands...... When she did come she found something else to be mad about and was bursting with with miserable words.

Eventually, I just held the crabby outfit on my lap for 45 minutes while I listened to the book of Ephesians from my audio Bible on my iphone. I had prayer with her and sent her to bed. She never did eat supper.

It's horrible to watch. She can't want to be like this. Sometimes you can see that she's trapped like a caged animal pleading with her eyes for a way out, but refusing to do what it takes. She cannot give in, or give up, or lose face. She is totally consumed with her stubbornness and feelings. It's heartbreaking.

This morning James struggled  - but went to make his bed and came back a different person. Give him a little time and a little space and he can overcome.

I had x-rays of my neck done. My spine is a mess. The guy asked me if I had been in an accident where I had been hit on my right and if I had been rear-ended a couple of times. Yes. AND MORE than that. I think it's true that the constant stress of my kids exacerbates my pain issues, or at least I am not handling it as well as I should.

Looking for a blessing from the Lord. Showers of blessings?

I have a whole hour and half where the twins are at the school for services and everybody else is in class or at work.... What will I do with myself? LOL!