I can't treat the twins like twins anymore. They may both be 7 years old, but one is responsibly older than the other. This one is gaining more responsibility and the privileges that go along with that.
James is growing, shining, and increasing in blessings.
A change I have made is to no longer require that he go to the bathroom on my schedule. I told him so long as he keeps his pants clean and continues to take initiative to go on his own it's not my responsibility. He could lose that at any given moment based on his the laundry :-)
James loves the children's meetings at church and he LEARNS. I am thinking of enrolling him in the Adventurer Club that is just being started.
The one trial he has is laziness. It keeps me on my toes, but other than that he's usually happy, and fun to be with. He actually has a sense of humor that we are only just discovering.
Missy is still on my schedule. She will Not initiate going to the bathroom. She'd rather hold it or poop in her pants. It's a fact.
Missy is missing the children's meetings because she is not willing to respect me or do anything anyone asks her. Missing out on privileges makes an incredibly bigger impression on her when her brother is getting what she wants, as was demonstrated by the 45 minutes of wailing her head off last night when he left for church without her. This morning she is very controlling. Lots of pickle questions and nonsense.
I am not enrolling her in the Adventurer Club. First things first. And obedience comes first.
Missy is NOT lazy. She is a hard worker. Sometimes, though, she won't do anything because it's a convenient way to be in control.
So, they may be twins, but it's kind of like having kids 3 years apart. The disadvantage is that I can't say, well, he's older. It comes out sounding negative ... he does what mommy asks and you don't. You still have to learn to obey.
4 comments:
We have the same problem here except Delaney is 11 months younger but I can trust her so much more than Jackson. I understand what you are saying and you don't want to be negative but you must be honest. I tell Jackson all the time that the reason he can't do things is because he can't be trusted to do what he is supposed to do. Now whether it makes any impression on him or not I don't know. He doesn't seem to truly learn from any form of discipline I use....it's all about what he decides to do regardless of the consequence. This is so hard. I am not sure I am even cut out for this and wonder why God chose me. I am tired.
Tired? Plain out exhausted I would call it. You hit the nail on the head with the twinning. I find this one of the hardest things about parenting kids who don't know how to play by the normal social rules. Different rules for different people is tough for me. Along with that is tailoring my expectations to each kid and where they are at behaviorally. You are right, obedience is the key.
So happy James is doing well. I am sure you have already looked into it, but Anna-Joy has a lot of facial features and behaviors in common with my GB, who is FASD.
GB's mom,
Actually, for all everyone knows there was no alcohol or drugs involved prenatally, or so "they" tell us. And none of her medical team (same team she has had since birth) has not given any indication they feel that FASD is part of her history. Missy has cranial facial abnormalities related to cleft palate and lip, nose, cheek bones, scars on her head and ear issues. Basically, her whole cranial facial structure is off in one way or another. The nose does give her that appearance, though...
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