Connecting

I had not been able to connect with Missy on an emotional level since the downhill slide last week. She wouldn't let anyone connect. She was miserable and she was gonna stay that way. I kept her home. James enjoyed going out to the children's meetings and off to church with the girls, grocery shopping with me, etc, but we kept her home with the croupy babies. I couldn't let her out of my sight.

Only last night was there any kind of breakthrough. First thing that facilitated that was James got himself in a little trouble and acquired himself an early bedtime.... ha. funny how that works, eh?! And second, I was trying to help her with math. We were going around and around on 0 + 6. She wasn't getting it. AT.ALL.

Finally I said, "Well, let's just put it away. You don't understand it. "

I figured the teachers would have to work their little tricks to help her get it.

She came right over to me with tears in her eyes and I said, "You don't know this stuff, do you?"

She sadly shook her head.

Curious as to what she has clued into about her class, I asked, "Do the other kids in your class know this stuff?"

And the the dam burst. She nodded and the tears rolled. She put her head on my shoulder.

"Oh. Math is hard, isn't it?"  I felt sick.

She has given us all the impression that she is oblivious... and I was happy for that, but the eyes are beginning to open and she is aware. The teacher has said she noticed she was trying to not stand out as not knowing, recently. She watches very carefully and does what the other kids do, even if she did not hear or understand the instructions. I realize this is an important step in her growth and cognitive advancement, but that doesn't make it any less painful.

I decided to give 6 + 0 one more go. And she did it. We went on to do about 8 more problems without much trouble. We could not complete the page, because it is time consuming but she made headway enough that she is pleased to show it to her teacher this morning. I hope they let her finish it. That would be important to her feeling successful.

We had a little chat about how the morning was going to go. Did she want me to remind her and tell her what to do, Or did she want me mind my own business and let her figure it out. She most definitely did want me to tell her what to do. I said, "But if you don't obey and you want to fight, then what?" She had no answer. I suggested that at that point I could go back to bed and let her figure it out and her eyes grew wide with fear. I said I didn't really know what she wanted me to do when she got angry with me for telling her what to do. She pretty much decided to listen and so, for this morning at least, she did not fight me.