Monday, April 30, 2012

Miracles Can Happen

She didn't just make it to school on time,

she got there early!!!


She was so proud of herself, too.  What a miracle.

But of course, we can't have a perfect morning.

Her brother was the one having trouble getting out the door. He told me he had fed the animals, but when I checked I knew he had not. He never showed up to breakfast. (so I made him a shake to drink on his way out the door).

He started screaming at me when I required him to go back and feed the cats. My thought is that he didn't get enough sleep, and he just couldn't get going and then being called on his slothfulness he chose anger.

When I asked him to wash his face he started shrieking. I did my best to calm him down and I told him I would be getting in the car and waiting for him. I always have to turn my rig around and when I started moving it backwards he lost it completely. I sat him on the outside bench and told him to wait,  that screaming would not help him solve his troubles, and his troubles would not be the cause of Missy being late the first day that she really tried to be on time. I told him I was sorry he wasn't ready, that he could not scream at me like that, and I left him with Christina. He probably shrieked for most of the ten minutes I was gone, flower bouquets were strewn all over but when I drove up he was sitting on the bench smiling.

I had to weigh the pros and cons of taking such action. He does have a certain amount of fear of being left behind. I figure he uses it to his advantage sometimes, though,  to try make us do what he wants. The pros outweighed the cons this time.... he needed to face his fear, know that he could not control others by his fears, and  he needed to know what the worse thing that could happen was if I did leave him at home.

After having him clean up his mess we had a chat.

"I wasn't planning on leaving you behind, I was turning my vehicle around like I do every day, but what's the worse thing that happened when I did leave without you?"

"I had to wait"

"Is that so bad?"

"I believe you knew I had no plan to leave you, but it seems you wanted to make it an excuse to scream at me. I felt like you were wanting to control the situation with screaming. How did that work out for you? Did it help you and get you what you wanted?"

We went through several scenarios. He had all the right answers and I loaded him up and headed towards his teacher's house. When we arrived his attitude was showing and he was dragging his school bag open and spilling out across the field. I called him back and asked him what he was doing and he told me exactly what I knew was going on. I took the bag since he wasn't caring for it and told him to go and apologize to his teacher for being late. He then started dragging his feet and acting out, so I called him back and sat him down in the car and we had a prayer (on his suggestion)  and talked about what kind of boy he wanted to be today... It took awhile.

He finally went in and I finally was able to go home, but I feel despite the nonsense and the attitude the whole story was ultimately successful. He had to come to terms with each of the things that happened and he had to take responsibility for his own actions. He has come far enough that he understands enough about himself and right and wrong that we could work through it decently.

I am here to say that God is faithful and amazing and HE has brought me a long, long way with these kiddos. I never even flinched, my blood pressure never varied, my heart didn't pound, I had zero negative reaction and not an ounce of frustration at any point in this whole scene.



Mama in Uganda said...

Miracles happen in my heart, too. :-)

So thankful that the Father takes us from glory to greater glory.

Blessings and joy,

Mama in Uganda said...

Miracles happen in my heart, too. :-)

So thankful that the Father takes us from glory to greater glory.

Blessings and joy,

bka said...


Anonymous said...

yay! A.

Sophie said...

Yeah for progess!! (for you and James and Missy.)

It always seems that if one of mine is doing well the other is not. It makes Jackson so mad when Delaney is following the rules. He becomes obsessed with her and tattles every time she breathes deeply. It is so exhausting. I really think that the trauma connection that the children have causes the intense competition between them.

Not saying that this is what was going on with James this morning when Missy was doing well but I know I could expect a similar scenario at my house if we were witnessing a miracle in Delaney's day.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations to the mom who held it all together today!!!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations to the mom who held it all together today!!!

Marty Walden said...

Way to go! Such progress for you! Thanks for commenting on my blog. My son has made more progress in the last year than he has probably in the last 10. There is hope!

Amy said...

Your last paragraph made me comment after lurking for over a year and loving your blog. I have five kids one with severe RAD who is a mixture of your two. I love the progress that your kids AND YOU are making!


child of The King said...


I've been lurking on your blog for a long time.

Some days I think, "I wish I had a mama like that." Some days I think, "That woman would drive me crazy, I'm not even as good as she wants them to be" Some days I think, " I should take in stray kids like I take in stray critters."

I am always drawn in by your high ideals and standards, your courage for a difficult task,and your honesty about how hard the real battles of life truly are.

We sat behind you at Eden Valley Church back when we used to go there and you were visiting, so I'm not a total stranger.