Monday, October 24, 2011

Making Sense of the Weekend {learning from my mistakes}


Lesson number 1.

As crazy as it is dealing with the child when she has been told we are going somewhere, it is the better of the two options. I think waiting until the day of travel is probably a good idea, but it doesn't work to try and make the day a normal, usual day. Her radar is too keen for that. Dealing with her anxiety of NOT knowing all the details is more traumatic than dealing with the  crazies that come with knowing.

Lesson number 2.

Always keep dairy free, gluten free food on hand. We were late arriving at the camp and so the cafeteria line was closed, however, they kindly had a hot pot of soup and crackers waiting for us. It was lovely, hot, corn chowder. Obviously, there were no options. It was eat soup or not eat. I'm more than sure it had dairy in it. Upon reflection, I have decided this is most certainly the cause for Missy's severe case of insomnia. That coupled with her high anxiety level. She used to require clonidine to sleep at all, and the more active lifestyle only fixed that to a degree, paying attention to her diet has been key.

Lesson number 3.

Get Missy a babysitter next time(wishful thinking) , but do not fail to take James with!

James loved the weekend. He learned much. The survival skills are, of course, very much a guy thing, so he had a grand time. Not only that, he is interested in people and strangers are not really strangers for long. He will talk to people and ask questions. People were very accommodating even though the class was for teens and youth, they took the time to include him and  they told me as we were leaving that they really enjoyed working with him and getting to know him.


Lesson number 4

This is something that the children themselves clued into. I was able to give James much more freedom because I could trust him. He could sit with the big sisters. He could go out in the woods with his group. He could play ping-pong, he could go to the meetings and join in the fun of the obstacle course, etc...

Missy was tied to me. End of story. And she fought it with everything she had. She was contrary and fighting restraint entirely the whole time, even when she did get some sleep.

I finally asked her, "Why do you think mom can let James do things that I can't let you do?"

Because I not obey.

Later I asked James the reverse question. "Why do you think that I can let you have some freedoms that I can't let your twin have?"

Because she doesn't want to obey.

"How right you are. There is safety in following the rules. There is just one thing that you are not careful of and for that I have to be on alert and it does effect your freedoms."

His head went down and he blushed, but he didn't wet his pants that day, all day!


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