I knew it was going to be hard,
but I didn't anticipate I'd be almost in tears so soon.
She wasn't home 15 minutes from school on early release
and we were in the thick of a full blown
tantrum
complete with screaming, throwing,
door slamming, running off,
and everything...
over corn chips.
My first clue that Thanksgiving was going to go over like a lead balloon
was her question this morning.
"Where are we going and what are we going to do for Thanksgiving?"
"Um.... Thanksgiving is a time to stay home
and be with your family,
kiddo."
"We have to stay here???!!"
But she had to run to meet the bus.
And then before you know it the bus comes back
and the screaming starts
and for a minute I'm desperate.
I'm panicked and there's a rush of
adrenaline.
And I walk away. Breath. Vacuum like crazy. And pray it doesn't last.
complete with screaming, throwing,
door slamming, running off,
and everything...
over corn chips.
My first clue that Thanksgiving was going to go over like a lead balloon
was her question this morning.
"Where are we going and what are we going to do for Thanksgiving?"
"Um.... Thanksgiving is a time to stay home
and be with your family,
kiddo."
"We have to stay here???!!"
But she had to run to meet the bus.
And then before you know it the bus comes back
and the screaming starts
and for a minute I'm desperate.
I'm panicked and there's a rush of
adrenaline.
And I walk away. Breath. Vacuum like crazy. And pray it doesn't last.
2 comments:
I'm praying that your family will have some sweet, peaceful moments tomorrow. My littlest has never experienced a real family Thanksgiving and she's scared to death. Been acting out all week. Isn't it wild the things that cause emotional chaos for our poor kiddos are the things that we associate with so much joy?
i'm praying for your fortification by the Holy Spirit today... for grace and strength for you so that the root of bitterness/resentment will not even begin to take root in your soul - what a challenge but you can do all things through Him who will strengthen you. To keep giving of yourself when it seems like it all falls into a dark pit of selfishness where there is only taking and no giving back... I pray that she will be able to give of herself to you one day - with total trust and love. This little paragraph is actually more for me than yourself - I know I would have to fight resentment and even bitterness after years of hard battle and giving of myself to help a child who, more often than not, at this stage, threatens to spoil my joy and the peace I crave, and throws it all back in my face. What an amazing thing to keep giving and even to love in the face of that... only God can enable us to keep on, so He can work through us, only He can give us the right motives, only He can help us to look beyond the present and fix our eyes on things eternal... because isn't that exactly what He does with us? How it must cause Him to burst out in song whenever we decide to not follow the cries of the flesh and instead bow ourselves down before Him and confess that He is love and ask for His help. What a victory He has won! She will too. Love, A.
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