Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Her First Day of Clinicals
* It's a pretty exciting day for Vanessa... as you can see.
* I stopped by the store to pick up few needed items on the way home from the twins' music lessons. James had some money of his own with him. I gave Missy 5 bucks and a chaperone (Vanessa). The back story on this is that she had come home one day last week and gleefully told me she had thrown away her spoon with her lunch at school. It was so random and so "and what are you going to do about that?" kind of thing. There wasn't much I could do. I just told her I was disappointed that she threw away a perfectly good stainless steel spoon and now she didn't have one. For the next week as I would pack her lunch I would have to modify it to something that didn't need a spoon. She kept asking why her lunch was different from James' and I would just say, "because you don't have a spoon." So, we set her off on a mission to buy herself a spoon. Well, with her helper, she found 4 for 99 cents. And she decided to buy a couple of doll bottles and diapers... As they waited in line a middle aged couple behind them were so tickled with finding a little girl buying bottles and diapers for her dolls that they begged Vanessa to let them buy them for her. Okay! You win some, you lose some. I got my 5 bucks back, she's got a few spoons for her lunch box and someone gifted her with her hearts' desire, but I don't know if she learned anything about money. :-)
* James was set on buying Legos. He only had $6 dollars egg money on him. As anyone knows you can't buy very many Legos with six dollars. He found a tiny motorcycle kit. . . . He didn't really want it, he just wanted to spend his money. Took me awhile to help him focus and realize that he didn't want that kit. By the end of our shopping trip he asked if he could put it back. YES! score.
* Christina found a home for the two big ducks. A farm with two ponds and a family that are really pleased with how friendly they are. The lesson learned here is that she texted me in my class about it and said they would be picked up before I would be back. Right. Let me get this straight. You invited a stranger to come to our house, while you, a 15 year old girl with the flu, is home alone? She had to scramble to have someone come over..... the neighbors kindly obliged and hopefully a lesson was learned. However, it turned out that a family came to pick up the ducks. But you never know.
* Missy is making some progress on that violin. Brianna was quite pleased with her lesson yesterday and the "recital quality" of her tone on her new song... the teacher then gave her another new song. James needs some encouragement. He's plodding along, but hasn't come to the place where practicing is a JOY. :-)
*I've had the WORST migraine this week. Yesterday I was hanging over the tub with my feet in hot water wondering how in the world I was going to drive back to town for the music lessons when my pains meds wouldn't kick in ~~ when I remembered a new kind of med someone had given me to try. It took an hour to do anything, and it did not deal with the nausea and all that, but it helped enough that I could function anyway. MY next move is to get some Cell Power from the health food store and give it a go...
*In my foster care classes we had a discussion that was a lightbulb moment. We were discussion the do's and don'ts of reflective listening. The two teachers highlighted that actually, *I* statements and *feel* statements DO NOT WORK with kids from with a trauma history. They went into the whys and wherefores, etc... but it got me thinking. So during a break I talked to them about the behavioral therapist that we are seeing and explained the things he wants me to say and use during issues with the twins and how often it totally backfires. They were not at all surprised. They said, "of course!" this guy does not take into consideration their trauma history. Those very things will either cause the child to blow up or shut down...." EXACTLY what is happening, especially with James. They said this kind of stuff works very, very well with special kids and regular kids who don't have a trauma history. And they gave me the name of a therapist that works with adopted kids. . . (Ack! man, this world is SOOOO complicated.) Anyway, the TRAUMA HISTORY Key is also what other parents looking on and criticizing adoptive parents totally miss. I tried to talk to them also about how onlookers think I should not be so bent on consequences for behavior due to mental deficiencies and they totally dismissed the conversation as nonsense. Oh, whew! It's been quite a week for me in this regard.....!
And then James had quite a flare up of anger - on the bus yesterday and there was a backpack flying. I was on the bus in a flash and he was down on my lap on the steps of the bus quicker than he could blink. He snapped out of it in a hurry. It's a good thing. There was a delayed child who witnessed the event freaking out and the bus driver had to do her best to assure him everything was fine.
* As expected, sending your kids to public school has it's downsides. Listen to this transcript of an unbelievable exchange between Missy and I, yesterday. Don't forget, she's in SECOND GRADE!!
"Mom, Mom!! Guess what! We're going to a dance tonight at the high school."
Me: "Ummmm.. What? Actually, no, we are going to your violin lesson."
"But mom! There's a dance at the high school tonight. I want to go to the dance."
Me: "No, honey. We don't go dancing. We are getting ready to go to your music lesson, remember?"
"But mom!! Everybody else is going!!!" (Steriotypical teen talk, but I've never even heard my big girls say that!)
Me: Silently in my head, of course, and dripping with sarcasm.... "Right. I am SURE EVERY second grader is going to this high school dance except you."
and then with panic...." What in the world am I doing to my kids!!! "
~ and out loud, "Sigh, well I am sorry kiddo, but you are not going dancing at the high school tonight."