Monday, September 10, 2012

Finding REALISTIC

It isn't for lack of fodder ...

It's just that I've lost something somewhere.

I haven't felt like writing at all.

I'm thinking it might be that I lost a little HOPE.... (or maybe it was actually Faith and just I don't like how that sounds because y'all may conclude that I've turned infidel :-) .

To lose it, whichever it is, takes the wind out of the sails for sure. I'm pretty sure I'm on the road to finding it again.  I've had to try and reconcile my  dreams (hope / faith) with stark reality over the summer. It hasn't been easy to adjust.  I'm trying to find realistic without destroying potential for surprises and miracles.

I'm physically a little fatigued from the constant battle, too. I can't say that I have as much drive as I'd like, but I'm not as winded as I was a few weeks ago.

I know the Lord is faithful...He holds the outcome in His capable hands. I just need to trust even when things seem chaotic and unpromising.

The twins are doing well with school. I have to say that little school is run like a tight ship. Their discipline and control is impressive. The students march in line, they whisper on the bus, they raise their hands, they know the rules. They don't use the typical green, yellow,  red card system we hear about. The whole plan is built on respect and they use the first few weeks of school to build a foundation of respect through repetition and teaching.

Homework is taking a long time. WAY too long. And we still turn it in half done. We do our best. James is getting the brunt of this. They expect more of him. They are feeling for their capabilities, I think.  The special ed teacher had a paragliding accident the first week of school and broke her back, so that was the end of her participation for now. I haven't met the replacement.

Missy crashes by Friday. She is so exhausted she can't get through the day in one piece. She starts her cpap stuff a week from Friday. I'm so looking forward to seeing how this improves her sleep and her morning mood.

Her consult with the orthodontist was today. They have done a whole study on her and have concluded it is time for her bone graft in her cleft palate. They decided to wait on the orthodontics until this graft is in place. The poor kid has many surgeries to look forward to.

We had an amazing summer storm; thunder and lightning and the whole works. We don't get that often here. Early in the summer yes, it's great then, but this time of year is another story. There were 80 lightning strikes in our part of the state. MANY of them in our valley. I can look out my window and see the smoke of different wild fires and some of them WAY to close to the town for comfort. So, far, all is well. It's a little hard on the lungs, to be sure, but no one has lost their homes, or lives.  James is a little on edge. His anxiety over lightning and thunder only increased with the fires. He's been hyper-vigilant over everything.

First we had this...
Then we had this!

By the way, the twins started piano and violin with the girls' music teacher. This should be interesting.

I have a bit of news on the babies. Something interesting and extraordinary happened today... but I'll save it for post of its own. Stay tuned.

4 comments:

Sophie said...

I understand where you are. Reality stinks for our hurt kids and our families. Hard to know what to say except that God is faithful and we can hold onto that...as you know. :)

Mama D’s Dozen said...

Wow! Lots to comment on. :)

I can really relate to this . . .

"To lose it, whichever it is, takes the wind out of the sails for sure. I'm pretty sure I'm on the road to finding it again. I've had to try and reconcile my dreams (hope / faith) with stark reality over the summer. It hasn't been easy to adjust. I'm trying to find realistic without destroying potential for surprises and miracles."

I wrote a similar post just a week or two ago. It is so difficult sometimes to looks at "reality" without "losing hope", but having "faith" that God CAN do miracles, while still wanting to "be realistic". A very hard balance, for sure. Praying that you once again are renewed with HOPE and FAITH, as I have been the past week or so. :)

So sad about all of the lightning strikes. Yikes!

Praying for STRENGTH, and HOPE, and FAITH, for you, my friend.

:) :) :)

Elyssa said...

Praying for you! :-)

I understand about the fires. They've been very bad around here too but we are safe. Our friends lost their place completely and others were very much in danger... Smoke was so thick with ash and all for several weeks here. It's cleared up a lot since then so we are thankful for that.

As nice and spectacular thunder/lightning storms are, they just aren't good around this time of year in these dry areas!! Will pray that they can be put out soon!

Julie said...

Hope deferred makes the heart sick. I have just been catching up so it was good to read the twins are doing better. Love to hear that you are having a break from the stress of the behaviors. I hope your getaway is fantastic.