Monday, April 26, 2010

Wondering

Does it strike you odd if a child almost NEVER cries when they are hurt?

Little Boy went out to ride his bike and in seconds came back in. I knew he was at the door but he didn't say anything or go anywhere. I peeked around the corner and he's holding his hand like he'd slammed it in the door - and he had. He was cringing with pain. He showed me the line across the fingers and I could tell it hurt, but he wasn't shedding a tear.

She fell off her bicycle and never uttered a sound. Later I saw a small scrape on her face. I asked her if it happened when she fell and she nodded.

These kids can scream and cry when upset - how come they don't cry when they are hurt?

3 comments:

Kelly said...

Same thing here. You will have to teach them to come to you when they are hurt. We are still working on this over 18 months later. You will have to teach them it is okay to cry. But the biggest thing is that they don't feel pain the same as us because of defense mechanisms they have formed to not feel. Not feel anything. Not feel like they need to use the bathroom. Not feel hot or cold. Not feel love. Not feel pain. They have to be taught to recognize things for what they are. It's hard to understand but these children have learned to just not feel. Less pain when you don't feel. Even good feelings.

When we first got Nate he didn't even know how to hug. He went nuts when we touched him. He would cringe and stiff up is I rubbed his head or back. Now he can recognize that if feels good and asked for a back rub every night at bed time.

As trust comes...feeling will come.

GB's Mom said...

Well said, Kelly!

:)De said...

I was going to say the same things Kelly said... They have not learned appropriate emotions and reactions. All three of my sons have very high thresholds for pain and the 2 little boys still have a hard time with identifying hot from cold, pain from tickles.

You will have to teach them to come to you when hurt, we even practice it so they can learn the behavior first.

"Baby" massages and joint compressions before bedtime really help with body and spacial recognition for my youngest. It improves bonding too.

Peace