Just Keeping it Real

I think that I may have figured out what precipitates a melt down in these two rascals. For Little Missy it is usually a great disappointment; a little heartbreak, and then she feels sorry for herself and soon refuses to follow direction. For Little Guy it's a combination of insecurity and plain laziness that brings on a crying fit and stubbornness. He does alright so long as everything is totally predicable and he feels like following along, but change things around a bit and he isn't so sure how to handle it, or ask him to go potty when he's "busy" and he'll fall apart.

Yesterday we endured a stand-off in both of them at the same time. Little Guy was asked to go potty while friends were here... and then while we were still dealing with that Little Miss didn't want to accept the fact that she couldn't go with me to the children's choir - and then she also was asked to go potty. Steve had to take over because I am the choir teacher. He just calmly told them he expected them to do what I had asked them and then sat down and sorted mail in the bathroom doorway while they both screamed and cried refusing to go potty. They were still there when I returned. I backed him up and repeated the requests to use the potty (and to get in the shower because he was a mess from the waist down). We prayed, we talked kindly, we repeated our requests, we held their hands, I washed the bathroom floor, I washed the bathroom walls, I disinfected the toilet and even scrubbed the toilet brush holder and sang, and then we reminded them that it was time to eat supper - and all hell broke loose!

The girls and I went up to eat and turned the music on. Steve calmly read his book in the bathroom doorway...  It appears that Little Man was trying desperately to get a rise out of us. The thing is, this is what worked before they came here. If they cried and screamed long enough they got their way (at least that is what I have gathered from my conversations with foster mom. She is a busy person and didn't have time for these long, long stand-offs.) And if that didn't work then they would resort to swearing. Thankfully, that has only been the case here once with Little Man early on. It's never happened again, which is strange because it was a common occurrence at the Foster mom's. She told me she wept over them and was at a total loss.

After I ate, I went back down to try and bring Missy around. I know food is incredibly important to her, so I used supper to my advantage. I prayed with her, held her hand and asked if she would like to eat. Of course, she did. She soon capitulated and went potty. She really, really had to go! Silly girl! I showered her and held her, put her in pajamas and then sat her on my lap and talked to her about angels and Jesus, and the bad angel who wants us to be unhappy. I used the felts to illustrate and talk about making choices and choosing to listen to the good angel. She totally gets it and wanted me to tell Little Man. I then fed her and went down to relieve Steve because he had to leave for prayer meeting. Little Guy was already in the process of obeying... but it took a long time to accomplish things. I fed him and it was time for bed.  The whole afternoon was gone!

On Wednesday nights we have storytime on my bed.  Little Miss brought the felts and she explained to her brother about the Jesus and the angels... She had the sweetest prayer. She prayed about everything from having a good sleep, helping her not to be naughty, to going to speech tomorrow. She asked me if I was feeling better. I had had a migraine for two days and I said, "No, screaming makes my head hurt."

"I sorry, Mommy, I sorry!!" 

They both were calm and sweet as could be. They were cuddly and pleasant. It's amazing. They both fell asleep instantly.

Later the rest of us gathered to talk over the day and pray together. We always talk at the end of the day and of course, the twins are a major topic of conversation lately. It's no secret that Christina was a hot tempered baby. When she gets tired of the screaming we remind her she had temper tantrums when she was just little. I would hold her tightly and pray, and sing (and cry) for an hour until she gave up or  fell asleep and usually, she fell asleep. She just has to ask every once in awhile, "WAS I as BAD as this??" Well, no, we dealt with you when you were a baby.... these kids have been strengthening their passion for 6 whole years.

Brianna piped up with, "It just seems so silly to scream and cry and carry on when it would be so, so easy to just give in!!"  She always was my compliant child. :-)  I did remember an incident, though.... she was about 3 when she decided to scream in church. Steve took her out and brought her back and she did it again, so he took her all the way home to deal with her properly, and then drove her all the way back to church.

Brianna's response, "OH, My!! I ought to reimburse you for the gas money!"

LOL!

After prayer, she again commented, "It just seems so SAD when these kiddos scream and cry and all they have to do is obey and be happy!"

Yes, how sad it is.
PS... Isn't such an illustration of the way mankind relates to God? Wouldn't we just be happier if we would give in and let God direct our lives? Ah, but sometimes it's such a battle and God just stays by sad that we don't accept that He knows what is best for us and waiting until we are done with our little fling.