I stopped by to drop off some medical cards I had forgotten to give the grandparents when I had brought the little boys to live with them. I was not expecting to see oscar in such a state. Broke my heart. I expected him to be happy to see me like he was when I dropped him off, maybe yell, "mommy, mommy" like he always did when I came into the room, or at least repeat, "hi, hi, hi!" Which is characteristic of him. Instead he came out in the porch with a blank expression and uttered not a sound. I said, "hi baby!! Can I have a hug?" And he lifted his arms with a pitiful whimper and laid his head on my shoulder and didn't move. I felt like I was holding a live baby with a dead spirit.... I've seen this before in a babe a few months old being passed between his mom and me. I didn't expect to see it again... Utterly Heartbreaking! "I'm sorry", I said to the great- grandpa as I hand him the weeping babe (not his usual lusty angry cry, but a heart wrenching deep and almost silent cry), "I'm sorry!"
Ugh! This world of neglect and addiction is a horrible place for children.
I feel like the betrayer of that little boy's heart. He trusted me and now he's in shock over the move.