Sunday, May 11, 2014

Child Betrayed

I stopped by to drop off some medical cards I had forgotten to give the grandparents when I had brought the little boys to live with them. I was not expecting to see oscar in such a state. Broke my heart. I expected him to be happy to see me like he was when I dropped him off, maybe yell, "mommy, mommy" like he always did when I came into the room, or at least repeat, "hi, hi, hi!" Which is characteristic of him. Instead he came out in the porch with a blank expression and uttered not a sound. I said, "hi baby!! Can I have a hug?" And he lifted his arms with a pitiful whimper and laid his head on my shoulder and didn't move. I felt like I was holding a live baby with a dead spirit.... I've seen this before in a babe a few months old being passed between his mom and me. I didn't expect to see it again... Utterly Heartbreaking! "I'm sorry", I said to the great- grandpa as I hand him the weeping babe (not his usual lusty angry cry, but a heart wrenching deep and almost silent cry), "I'm sorry!" 
 
 Ugh! This world of neglect and addiction is a horrible place for children. 
 
I feel like the betrayer of that little boy's heart. He trusted me and now he's in shock over the move.

7 comments:

Ruth Ann said...

This is my most heartwrenching fear for my little one who has been here since he was 2 days old...

((hugs))

Oldqueen44 said...

That is so incredibly sad.

Preacherstribe said...

What a heart breaker. Some kids are born without a shred of hope. (May the Lord intervene.)

Kelly said...

That is heartbreaking. I am so sorry. May God wrap all of you in His loving arms.

Anonymous said...

You've all given him everything you had to give. I believe the Spirit will trigger so many good and comforting memories in his mind and yours. God's surely not through with him yet. We share your pain.

Felicia said...

So heartbreaking, prayers for your heart. We worry about this with our baby.

Annie said...

I don't know the background of this, but your description rung my heart.