Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Three Days

We can do anything for three days, right?

So, the little guys leave Friday. It would have been next week, except when I told them I would need respite for the weekend because I was taking the girls to the women's retreat, they suddenly went into high gear over moving the boys before the weekend. Whew! I knew it was my best playing card and I saved it for the perfect moment and it absolutely changed the whole scene around. I went home from the mtg all excited to tell Pieter he would be moving to Nana's house on Friday...  Only to drive up and find Vanessa trying to help Oscar with a big bloody nose because Pieter had kicked him in the face, and Pieter sitting in a big pile of poop because he had been put in time out over it. He's retaliatory like that. Sigh... Three days, three days... We can do anything for three days!

The little guys' mom has to move out of Nana's house in order for the children to move in with Grandma. I was disheartened to see her reaction was one of self-pity because she is now "homeless".  There was even an offer of a place to stay, but she said no and wanted to feel sorry for herself.

It was good to see the dad as excited as a teenage boy (if he's not a teen, he's not much more than that) that he got a job and it involves driving forklift. He's so proud. He's doing everything right and it's gratifying to see how well he looks and the sparkle coming into his eyes.

James is really, really benefiting from the daily run!  Yesterday Steve had to be at work at 3 AM so obviously they did not go running to start off the day. James really missed it. It has taken a few weeks but I think he's feeling the benefit of the endorphins flooding his body first thing in the morning. He has been so cheerful and good natured and engaging. He is thrilled with his report that he is writing for his school wax museum project. He cares about getting his homework done. He also cares that the other kids make fun of his shoes during track. He wears supports in his shoes and so he wears sturdy "hiking" style shoes, but I'll get him a pair of runners if it will make things easier for him during track and field.

Missy on the other hand.... sigh. She's faking so much we can't tell what is up and what is down.  Is she sick or not? It seems like she's sick for convenience sake and is not contributing much to life right now. She is fine enough to go horseback riding yesterday, but not fine enough to practice her music. It took her one hour to get the violin out of its case. She was not "Well" enough to go running this morning, but well enough to go on a school field trip. My thought is that we might be dealing with some sort of depression mixed with faking to get out of the things she doesn't want to do, or that she could have a touch of the stomach flu.... but it's awfully mild and lasting forever and I can't be sure. She's a complicated kiddo and  a conversation will only get us nowhere.


Julie said...

Oh I hate trying to decide if it's real or malingering. Two of my boys had mono and while one of them just had ongoing weariness and it was harder to function, the other was knocked completely for a loop and slept 20+ hours a day, so I don't want to dismiss that her issues could be real.

However, I would probably plan something fun and unexpected that she would want to participate it. I would make clear from the beginning that she can only participate if you determine her health is improved. I would plan it for a week away and if she is too fatigued to do her chores in the week, or practice music, etc... then when the "day" arrives tell her that you're sorry she was still too fatigued in the week to do her duties so you need her to rest and not do the planned activity so she'll be able to take care of her responsibilities in the coming week. I'm sure it sets you up for some retaliation and likely a rather significant melt down, but if she's up to a fit, she's not feeling so bad.

Julie said...

Shoot, I forgot what else I wanted to respond to. I am so thrilled for you that the kiddos are leaving, you are getting to go to the retreat and super super excited that the runs are helping James!! I think of all of the new synapses being formed and I'm thrilled for you!