Sunday, August 12, 2012

Counting the Hours

Till Brianna gets home today!

I missed her cheery smile.

I missed her enthusiastic energy.

I missed her ability to use some silly to get Missy on board.

I missed having her willing, helpful hands.

This has been a very, very long 5 weeks...

it became doubly challenging the day the other two left and the baby came back.

Missy has been hard. Very hard. I don't have any therapeutic anything left. I'm too tired. I warned her this morning; any manipulative games or fits about anything and she would find herself outside to figure out what to do with her time. I simply would not deal with it today.

I leave you to guess how long that took.

Steve says he's proud of me for keeping a positive outlook, for pressing forward and not letting it get to me and handling the shenanigans well....

But truth is I am very weary and so close to tears a lot of the time. I would do anything to get this kid some help. This is some pretty serious stuff we are dealing with. I am more and more certain that a good home and love and patience is not going to do it for this kiddo.

If she were open to the Spirit of God, as her brother is, I would have a better future pictured for her.... But she is not. Her heart is sealed tight. Only a miracle from heaven can change that. I pray for it daily.

We believe her behavior is actually contributing to her stunted growth intellectually and emotionally. It seems backwards... But she cannot grow so long as she holds tight to her patterns of destructive habits. She is so resistant to any kind of input in her life that she immediately bristles when I so much as say her name.

I am encouraging James to think a little about his day rather than aimlessly wandering through it and melting into a puddle if tears every time someone asks him to do something.

I wrote JOY on the top of a page. I show him how happiness in life is putting a particular order of importance in your life.

He liked the idea of it. I showed him how his quiet time, prayer time, bible memorizing time, was time devoted to Jesus.

For Others chores, surprises for people, offering help, etc would make him happy and others around him happy as well.

Under You we wrote play time, practicing skills such as reading, piano, bean bags on the balance board etc, is time devoted to improving himself and his brain.

I showed him how just wandering about was a waste of time. Going with inclination- how we feel at the moment, is a very bad habit that needs to be broken.

He likes to explore this sort of thing. He's busy on the Others aspect of his day right now. He's putting things away without being asked. This willing sprit gives me so much hope for his future.

The Buddy split his forehead open Friday. Super glue to the rescue!! :-) it was a little traumatic. Head wounds and blood --- oh my! But he was an absolute angel for the nurse and doctor. He's such a rough and tumble boy bent on breaking his own face. He has to be watched like a hawk!!!!

The Duckie slept 9 hours Friday night. He didn't do so well last night, but he is really headed in the right direction. He's very sweet and cooing and smily. He's grown out of last week's clothes.

I'm watching Joyanna today, which should give Missy a different focus for awhile.

Yesterday I spent the day with Jackie and Gordon, an elderly couple, so that Peggy could go to church. I had a time of it keeping the Buddy out of their things. Buttons, knobs, cords, switches, hearing aids, etc... Nonstop. Oh, my!


Vanessa said...

Mom, I'm really proud of you too for handling all the kids so well the past few weeks. I love your idea with James. Glad Bri is coming back...I was telling a couple girls in the car today all the amazing things about my sister. She really, really is the BEST. I miss her too. Thank you for all you do. LOVE you!

Mama in Uganda said...

We have one who's "stunted" his growth through stubbornness and sin...its an amazing things to watch, trying to live without God or any acknowledgement of Him is simply destructive!