Today the raging started early. My sister arrived from the Yukon with her kids at 7 am. You would think it would make difference... He did go for a run with them but he was the only one who did not finish the course and mostly he walked while they ran.
He's in his room. Has been all morning. Likely will be all day at this rate. So much for swimming. I can't force him to choose right, but I certainly can make wrong choices uncomfortable.
Usually I can coax out his happy, loving nature... But when it gets this bad it's totally hopeless. We have to just wait it out and keep him quiet and out of the center of attention. I gave him choices and he repeatedly, stubbornly chose the worst choice.
I absolutely refuse to allow him to throw and break things. When he moves toward that I let him know he's hit a new level of consequences and Everything Changes.
5 comments:
I can identify with where you are with James right now. I am finally learning that when things escalate to a certain point there is no more therapy talking and touch and activity. When Chi is destructive and dangerous he has to choose to calm down before we can move forward. Endangering people and property is a whole new level of consequences in our home too.
Maybe James is trying to sort through in his mind his visit with his bio Mum last week. Maybe he just needs some time and patience to sort through all that he is thinking and feeling. If I remember correctly, these were similar behaviours with both the kids after their annual visit last year. It must be so hard for them to see their Mum for just one day a year and then be made to resume their daily life and feelings immediately after. Love him through this, as he needs you more than ever. It would be far better than making him run and run! Praying that God will fold him into His arms and pour His love into this little man.
Thank you for the comments.
I would request that the writers sign their names. The comments have a TON more meaning if I know who is speaking. Thank you for considering and understanding my need to know whose voice I am listening to. . . I know it seems hard in black and white to exercise the children, however we have been encouraged by even a therapist lately that this is good. It is an outlet for the anger. It is taking the mind off of self and focusing it outward. Being out in nature is soothing. We have NOTICED a huge difference in the children after they run in their ability to calm themselves. I have read that we need to get the LARGE muscles moving to get the blood flowing to the brain. Also, and I'm not sure how to say this correctly, adrenaline is poisonous if constantly pouring into the system and not being used in "fight or flight". Toxic as it were.
IT is implied that we might not love the child through these times. Nothing could be further from the truth. We work with him and work with him... most of the times we can reach him. Sometimes, like on that day, we could not.
We have one of our children running every morning, and the difference is huge....it teaches him to use his energy for what is good.
Thank you, Summer! It's so hard to write the complete picture....
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