Wednesday, April 10, 2013
It's a Journey
And I haven't a clue how that is going to go. I thought I did a few days ago. I thought the babies would go home today. That's what the social worker had indicated she was recommending, but then the mom called me yesterday distraught. She was getting totally different vibes from the other corners of the case; CASA, Attorney, etc...
I tried to encourage her to trust God for the best outcome. I am not allowing my heart to make a ruling. I will care for those little boys with my whole heart if they are to remain with us, and I would support their return, because I know they will be well cared for with their mom. Either way, because ultimately GOD knows what is best in the long run for the children. I don't have that ability to see the future that He has. I don't have a good understanding of the root of the problem, which is addiction. I don't want to see the boys bounced back and forth on the whim of the tyrannical slave driver of sin, if indeed it still holds it's grip. I can't tell. This work is a humbling experience... it shows me how much I absolutely don't know. I'm a very trusting person as I learned last week and I can believe a lie.
Steve and I made the decision that we will not be accepting any other placements (outside of maybe weekend respite) for a long, long time. We have to be there for this family at any given moment and the case is not going to close, as originally planned, any time soon. I wonder how my taking that last placement contributed to the mother's undoing last time? Her fear of being left without support (case closing) was a significant part of this setback. It is viewed as self-sabotaging behavior, but I think ultimately it's not knowing wherein one's strength lies... OR in whom, and taking full advantage of the power offered.
We bought the older children Bibles and we brought them all to church with us last weekend (except dad, who is feeling no need of God and laughs at those who do). Natalie (18 yrs) had the sermon... part of the D'sozo series. Her message was clear and definitely new to this family. They heard every word. The 9 year old verbally and physically responded as Natalie offered interaction in her discourse. Later the mom had huge questions, but it came clear that she doesn't have a true understanding the simple gospel. That Christ came to save sinners and that He loves us so much and that He is wooing us to Him and all He wants is for us to accept Him as the Lord of our lives. There is so much to learn. The Vanessa, Brianna and Dakota were excited to share scriptures with her that she might see how much Christ loves her... It's a journey. And when I'm really sick, I'm not actually sure I'm up for it, but I'm starting to feel a little better and the future looks brighter.
If you have a moment, please pray that God's will be done today regarding those precious little children and their parents in court.
Last night the dad was installing my NEW dishwasher... and the mom was feeding my children at home. I heard the girls had the cello out and the older kids were fascinated as Brianna taught them out to play it.
Missy's up out of bed.... hoping they discharge her sooner than later.