Monday, May 20, 2013

Progress and Where to Go NEXT!

Just taking a mini break from mowing uphill for a minute or two ...

After SEVERAL days of pushing their limits and both children missing the bus, and or breakfast for a solid week they revamped their morning strategy and were on time and EARLY for the bus today. It was a total conscious decision, especially on Missy's part, to be on time. She was SO proud of herself, too. She pointed it out to me in happy chatter over her bowl of cereal.

For the most part, the really really really hard behaviors have kind of melted into oblivion which is much noted and appreciated. I know that just being calm and going with the flow and not acting in a wild and belligerent way actually tones down the stress in their bodies by a hundred fold and they are even more capable of then feeling calm and peaceful. In the same way that they can spiral down, down, down out of control into the depths of chaos, and anxiety, they can work their way upwards and outward into a more restful state. I can't tell you what's working right now. Is it that we know how to diffuse situations more efficiently? Are they maturing enough to be repulsed by certain behaviors to avoid going there? Is the routine just so steady it's all good? Is the consistency of the discipline...(when that happens - this happens every single time!).... finally making some inroads into their brains? Likely it's all of the above.

For the most part, Yes, Missy was way out of control with her in-home care giver a couple weeks ago and she did pull some wacky shenanigans out of her old repertoire, but I totally believe she was testing to see how far she could push this new person. It didn't work out so well for her and she's completely back to working with the lady just fine.  I consistently see this child as WAY below her age level and so it is to be expected that she will act like a 3 year old sometimes - but hopefully not a three year old with severe, severe behavioral issues. She is oppositional. Don't get me wrong. This child is defiantly oppositional and she can't seem to choose a softer approach to authority even when she wants to. It's like she is compelled to have the last word ALWAYS under EVERY circumstance. However, it's quieter than before. She isn't screaming bloody murder ALL the TIME.

Both children got in trouble yesterday. It was typical kid trouble. I asked them not to do something and that's exactly where they were found themselves and before long they were doing it again. It's how they reacted when caught in the act that shows where the progress is made. Missy was a trooper. She begged to be let off the hook with many promises of not ever doing it again, etc.... I told her I forgave her and all that, but it doesn't take away from the fact that she disobeyed and that she needed to learn from her mistake and take her consequence. She responded to her consequence without further ado. THAT shows the real progress. James had a little harder time. He hates to be caught. He started to spit... and I just looked at him and asked him what that was about and it was enough to make him think about where he was headed. He stopped and cooperated after that.

I'm searching, searching, researching for what we need to do next. I have two books on the brain I am reading at once. I have two or three DVD's / online videos I've been watching. I'm connecting with therapists and reading reviews, following leads and exploring every option for improving their brain capacity. I know it can be done. BUT NO ONE will share the information without a MAJOR price tag. It's tough. We're headed towards Neurological Reorganization and it is expensive and hard work, but I have run into a few roadblocks in trying to set up an appointment. I finally have a date, but there's more to it than just having an appointment.  Yay for living in the sticks (not!)

James came home from school last week with a diploma from PT. He has completed all his goals and is PT free now. I was a little surprised. He still would have trouble playing ball.... and no one spoke to me about it at all, but I guess it's good. He was evaluated at the hospital recently also and did not qualify anymore. I have to think that his issues are more about slow processing than actual physical inability and thus we continue OT.


Emily said...

This kind of post makes me so happy! I love seeing progress for your kids, and the fruit of your hard labor with them.

rachel said...

Have you heard of I am doing their program right now with my eight year old daughter who has four diagnosis- PTSD, ADHD, ODD, and mental health disorder-nos.
We are only three months into the program but are loving it! I'm so excited about Nacd, I really think they have LOT to offer our kids.

rachel said...

Hi, I got your message! If you have any more questions, feel free to email me at blacknwhitefamily at gmail dot com.