Wednesday, September 25, 2013

To the Human Eye...

things are so beautiful and encouraging with Buddy's family. A 6 month celebration of progress, movement towards independence, healthy family relations, etc... Today she called me to ask me to pray for a friend in a similar situation that she has once been in. She was able to be with this friend at court today and to pray with her friend as we have done with her. They saw a miracle of answered prayer and it increased her faith all the more. She has much to offer those in need. VERY much to offer because she has an understanding and compassion that some of us will never know. She felt as though God honored her in being able to reach out and teach this other woman to bring her great need before God and then she was there to experience the joy of answered prayer. There is nothing like it.


To the human eye things are in a bleak place in regards to a certain little Miss.
I have nothing ~ except hope in what the Lord can do for her. I've lost every inch of ground ever gained with her in regards to respect and obedience. There is NOTHING that will induce her to do what is right - nothing. The misery is unending.

I'm really afraid for her.

The wringer drains me emotionally and physically. I have been unbelievably weary the last few days. Long hot showers and curling up under bed covers and shutting her out are very much my temptation.... but I keep going out of my way to be with and work with other people. There's only one or two that I have shared the extent of our struggle of late. It's the helplessness of watching her destroy herself . . .  Yes, blatant disrespect irks me to no end, but she's getting away with it somehow because I have lost the energy or will to make her, and I'm not even sure if that would be the best approach at this point anyway. If I get too invested in a certain battle, the temptation to lose my own peace is there. My only consolation is in bringing this child before God in prayer.

9 comments:

Mama in Uganda said...

I'm there...let's chat soon!

Summer

Anonymous said...

I have been reading your blog lately and totally understand what you are going through. I have a 6 yr old adopted daughter who is exactly like Missy. She has total disrespect for all adults. In fact, she is proud of her behavior. I can not make her do anything and I fear for her future just as you do for Missy. I am at a loss as to what to do. You are right, sometimes prayer is all we we can offer. Please know that you are in mine.

Mama Ds Dozen said...

I have walked that walk. I hurt for you, as I know how very painful it is.

When my Little Miss got bigger . . . and stronger . . . and more aggressive . . . we had to move her to a Residential Care Facility. It was not safe to keep her at home any longer.

I hope and pray that you won't have to make the same decision, but you know who you can call if you need to talk about this option. (or if you just want someone to talk to about how HARD and PAINFUL every waking hour is with your own little Miss).

Love & Hugs & Prayers,

Laurel

Emily said...

Aching. My heart is aching for you. And I'm praying every day for you and for her. God is the great healer, and I am praying for His intervention in this little girl. May His grace and peace and courage and strength be with you. He will uphold you and be with you. Hugs to you today.

acceptance with joy said...

thank you for the prayers. Feeling very weak here. Missy is a bit better today but James is raging at the moment.... feeling so inadequate for the job.

Barb said...

Ah, this triggers memories. My now 19 year old son was the most challenging 14 to 16 year old. I could not fathom why he was always so angry and so RUDE!!!! Now we know he has very high anxiety. (We took him to an excellent pediatrician who specializes in adolescents and she identified this anxiety). Talking with other moms with challenging kids, it seems that a kid's horrible behavior can often indicate their high anxiety level, and they express it really destructively- both towards others and themselves.

Preacherstribe said...

I guess, Ange, we are not meant to feel adequate. Just lean all the more on Jesus, do you best and trust Him.

Perri said...

Praying for you. Had my own adopted son removed in January after 10 years of trying to manager his behaviors. Once the safety of the family became an issue, it was a non issue. This year has been the most peaceful year ever. The sense of calm in the house is unbelievable. Makes me regret not doing it years ago. What did I put the other kids through? I live with that thought daily. Praying for you all.

Perri said...

Praying for you. Had my own adopted son removed in January after 10 years of trying to manager his behaviors. Once the safety of the family became an issue, it was a non issue. This year has been the most peaceful year ever. The sense of calm in the house is unbelievable. Makes me regret not doing it years ago. What did I put the other kids through? I live with that thought daily. Praying for you all.