It's Done

It was very painful. Gut wrenching hard.

The kids are now in their father's custody. 

I prayed with my whole heart that the right thing would happen and so I totally believe that this was the best move that could have been made under the circumstances.

I won't see the kids any less. 

In fact he needs to be at work early, early tomorrow morning 

and I need to get to the house by 6:30 to see that the children 

are dressed and showered and fed and taken to school/ daycare.

One weight was lifted. 

The children are safe.

One weight remains.

I worry she won't go to treatment as no one is going to force her. 

Meth is slow suicide and she is its poster child. 

She's so very thin, so very, very sick, her skin raw with rash and open sores. 

She despises her addiction but is so helplessly bound by unseen fetters,

 an evil villain stronger than life. 

It's truly heartrending. 

It doesn't seem so long ago

that she had dreams and goals,

plans for her children, a vision of what life held for her family.

When healthy she is a most beautiful girl. 

The children's father don't think she will seek help.
 He thinks she's gone - gone for good. 

So many told me that once released from her responsibility
she would run for freedom.

There's no joy in it for her, though, if it is actually so.

I still hold out hope. 

For all the prayers we prayed,
this penniless, homeless, rock bottom could be her start for a new life.

For with God all things are possible.

Still praying.