I can usually come up with something to say even when there's nothing... Been sitting here with a blank page for like 10 minutes. That's just not like me. I think I'm bored silly of my own stories. Let's see....
Court happened. The case has gone backwards ten steps. No real surprises there. Social worker came by and visited and he pretty much said these kids are in care for a long time, so he knew the kids would have to be moved sometime in June. I suggested he start looking for an appropriate home sooner and then we can transition the children gradually and carefully. I hate to move them, but the case did not go as the SW thought it would and I already have commitments for the summer. He thanked me for the suggestion and said he'd get to work on it Monday.
The kiddos are doing well in our home, but there are struggles related to the twins. Although I never ever let the kids act out inside our home -they are immediately taken outside so that the little kids don't see, we simply cannot protect them from all of it. When things are good, it's great. When things go South it's very difficult. Some of the good is that James has learned to play with little kids appropriately. He can now entertain them instead of freaking out over them touching his things or just getting near him. Missy has learned a lot about child care and she's quite motherly (to the point I have to remind her that I'm the mom).
Yesterday getting ready for church, Missy was crabby. She stomped purposefully and hard on Christina's bare toes (in sandals) on her way into the van. We pulled her back and had her wait for everyone else to load up. When she got in she slapped James for sitting in her favorite spot. Poor guy can't win for losing. There's twelve seats to choose from and he picked wrong! sigh. We decided if she could not be appropriate in the van she would forgo the ride. I walked with her instead. She screamed and hollered most of the way while I sang our new little theme song over and over and over. She was bent on destroying her pretty shoes. I told her we would have to return home if she was going to keep trying to wreck them so we could get her hiking shoes. She stopped, but a few blocks from the church she started doing it again. I reminded her clearly what I had said, and she even repeated after me so that I knew there was no question. I asked what she planned to do and she gave all the right answers. As soon as I turned she did it again. I looked back at her and asked, "Were you just checking to see if you can trust my word? I do mean what I say. "
Turning around was difficult. We had walked more than 2 miles. We were almost there. She was furious with me. "Unfair, unfair!!!" Maybe. But she was testing and knew what she was gambling with. We were in the cemetery. She screamed and threw herself on the ground and threw pine cones at me and even ventured to slap me once. I just walked but I said she was absolutely NOT to touch me. After that she acted like the stones and pine cones were meant for me as she screamed her hatred, but she threw them beside me rather than at me and so I ignored them. Basically she screamed non-stop for those 2 miles home where she changed her filthy clothes and shoes and we turned around and walked back to church. She was done with yelling and screaming, though, it might have helped that I took her a different route through the orchards and I told her we needed to be quiet and watch for dogs. We nearly ran smack into one dog with a strong looking jaw and a furious bark. Thankfully his owner called him back before he ate us up, though. The next dog was a puppy and we were in no danger, but we had a hard time shaking him off. It was noon when we arrived and she was much calmer, but still very willful.
I'm sure most of you would think this was an extremely hard and stressful event. Truthfully I felt nothing. You repeat this sort of thing day after day for 4 years and you get kind of dull. I sang, I chatted with Brianna in Africa on my WhatsApp, I also tried to make light conversation and redirect Missy's thinking. For a brief moment I got a little teary as I thought of what she could be. I prayed silently. I thought a lot about what this would look like in a few years... If she becomes more aggressive I wonder what will become of her. There's only so much we can do. Only God can work the miracle needed on her heart and mind. We're doing all we humanly can.
We went for a walk as a family later and found this little sleepy guy: