Saturday, February 15, 2014
Be Mine, Valentine
Our Valentines Day did not go super duper well, actually. Missy had ideas tending towards misery and resistance but changed her mind when she recognized her twin was suiting up for battle. He had been somewhat unbalanced the day before. Switching from angry and threatening to giggly and silly. He was definitely lethargic and lazy. In an angry moment he jammed a cup into the garburator that had to be cut out. So here we were Valentines morning and he was in a "MOOD". He spilled water on the floor and when I had him clean it up he threw a tantrum. When I tried to help him with something he flat out refused to cooperate. It was all downhill from there. I called the school at 7:20. The principal answered the phone. The secretary was out for the day so I told the principal I was sure I would have more than a little trouble getting this kid on the bus. He said, "No problem, just tell him I'll get his teacher and we'll be out to get him shortly. See what his reaction is to that, and if he decides to get here on his own then great, if not, I'll be out. Just call me back in ten minutes and let me know which way he's going to move."
When I told James I had called the principal he went berserk. He screamed that he hated me and that I was a stupid idiot. etc... and he trashed his room. He slammed his door, he tore up magazines, threw his toys and took the pictures off the walls. Interestingly, he tore up things that did not matter to him. He had a set of screwdrivers on the dresser, but he did not use them for his destruction. He carefully took the sheep he had made off the door, but didn't wreck it. The pictures were under the bed, the glass not broken. He was verbally aggressive but he made no move to hurt me. Mostly I just left him to his folly. I have learned not to get involved too much.
I called the principal back. When I told him of the violence he opted for another big guy over the teacher. So that is how we had the principal and vice principal over Valentines morning at 7:45. The screams from James room suddenly had a different tone when he saw their truck pull up. "Mom, MOMMY. MOM!!!!!" I ignored him. When they knocked I pointed in the direction of his room where the screams were escalating and the door slammed harder.... then all went silent and soon a very mellow child appear in boots and a coat and he was ushered out to the truck. The men called instructions to me on their way out to leave his room trashed. They would be working on a plan with James to clean it up himself.
Later Rhett pointed out that James was NOT really out of control, he was disrespecting me, but the moment the two men walked into his room he stopped instantly. He cooperated with them fully.
I picked up the twins early from school as I didn't believe they deserved to go to the Valentines party at school.
Everyone at school knew. They were all very sweet and supportive. I could tell there was a new understanding of what we are dealing with. Even Missy's teachers were fully aware of the morning's craziness and encouraged me to keep calling them for help. I had a conversation with Missy's special ed teacher (someone I had not met before) that had a better handle on Missy than anyone to date. She explained their tailor-made system of rewards and punishments - and how they have learned to avoid Missy controlling all of it. She insinuated that they have had trouble with getting her on the bus on time at school in the past but have come up with a plan that works. I was much relieved. I have felt that in the past she has manipulated her way around the school.
James came home and cleaned up his room. He is not right, though. He is angry and sullen. He is grasping at control. Steve took him hiking alone this afternoon. The kiddo is announcing that he's moving on to the junior class at church next week because he's turning ten. He just forgot to consult us. If we decide to move him to juniors it will only be because his dad is the teacher and not because of his maturity. :-P
Here we are. The downhill gets steeper and steeper. There was a time I thought we could help these kids. Anymore, I fear for their future. It still stands that we gave them an opportunity. What they do with that is up to them. Over and over we think of How God Must Feel over the waywardness of His children.
Brianna's new computer died completely. She's devastated. A lot of her dreams and plans have evaporated in her face. She had a significant video project in the making for OCI that she was quite excited about and poof..... The Refiner's fire.