Thursday, October 17, 2013


Missy was the most cooperative this morning! She did everything in record time with a good attitude and she started her routine with the thing she normally tries to get out of most.

Steve and I have been putting everything on paper. We are still tweaking the daily routine chart for checking off. We decided this morning that the kids need a NEW chart every morning. So a half sheet with one check box for each item rather than 7 check boxes. Morning routine chores and such need to be on a separate sheet from the afternoon one. Otherwise the kids are easily overwhelmed. We have broken everything down into little doable pieces.

The treat incentives lost their appeal pretty quickly. She doesn't need them. It's not really what motivates her. We've worked very hard to take me out of the equation. I need to use the timer, not my words to motivate. I must rely on the check boxes and charts to show whether they are doing well NOT my observations in word. I need to say little. Whether praise or correction... I must say LITTLE to nothing. Let the work speak for itself.  This lends to a better relationship because I am not the enemy so much. The paper is. Or the evidence, if you will.

The bottom line is the run at the end of the day if the chart shows they were slacking off - or if they had any sort of tantrum. And to the kids that is a BIG DEAL. Missy went running with Steve and Christina every night for a week and then suddenly she got it. She has not run in 3 days. The track at the school is lighted and has ten rows. They run each row once and not much else is said. IF they throw a tantrum on the track or even fuss and whine, they get to start over again. Steve and Christina are preparing for a half-marathon for Christina's birthday Sunday, so this has worked out super well. The exercise is good too. They are STRONG kids.

James was doing super .... but it seems he has a little trouble with Missy doing well. He will be running with dad tonight. He has done everything well with a super good attitude and then slowly he has been cheating to skip steps. He sets the timer short, does half the job then calls it good, or makes excuse why something hasn't been done. BUT the most noticeable thing is that when Missy starts off the day ahead of him he can't get it together. every. time.

Missy has also accepted that I am NOT interested in taking her places when it's such a struggle to behave. She is not in my kids choir. She cannot go with me to do crafts with the ESL kids. She did not get to go to a birthday party.... It's school, church, lessons, and  HOME until further notice.  In-home caregivers are awesome for that.


Emily said...

I learn from you just about every time you post. I'm glad you're finding things that seem to be working. I hope it continues.

Gina said...

I made a routine chart for Ryan that I put into a page protector and he checks it off with a dry erase marker. That way he can erase it each day and start over. I can email you a copy if you would like to see it. I made it in Word and included pictures since Ryan can't read. Good luck.

acceptance with joy said...

AH! See, that's why I blog... so smart people like you can help me out with their bright ideas. Great idea. I could even laminate it once we are done tweaking!!

acceptance with joy said...

I would love to see it. safords at Hotmail dot com

Kelly said...

Good idea with a different sheet every day. I made a simple step sheet for getting ready for bed for Jackson. We made it together and it had pictures of each thing. But, after about three days he decided it was dumb and ripped it into many pieces. But a laminated check sheet might work if he needs a list again. He is doing well (knock on wood) right now with both morning and night time routines...thank goodness. Thanks for the ideas though.