Our new system has been working well.
All the responsibility is on them. It has been working well, not perfectly, but well enough. There has been a certain amount of peace. They do often end up going for a run in the evening with Dad for skipping certain chores, or checking off a chore when they haven't actually done the work. We call that cheating. Cheating is an automatic run.
EXCEPT this morning I blew it. I noticed that Missy had the timer on but was not actually doing her therapy exercise. I gave her a warning. I gave her two. Then I shut the timer off. She went straight into defiance mode AND WE were in battle. I admit to getting hot under the collar when a kid looks me in the eye and basically says, "screw you!"
I should have let her do it her way.... Seems totally WRONG but everything about raising these kids seems wrong. I should have let her do her thing.... then let her go for a run for not doing her work well. She absolutely defies authority. I have no idea how to deal with that because if one tackles the problem head on she will FIGHT to the END. She will not give in. I did not win the battle. She is refusing to do anything this morning and there's not a thing I can do about it. I tried. Steve tried. She will not bend. In fact it's bad enough I will not be surprised if she ends up at school in pajamas, because in her mind getting dressed would be kowtowing to me. If she does get dressed it's because I told her not to. Crazy, eh?!
SO anyway, I must stick with the plan. I must not deviate in any way. Just REMIND me of that, okay!!
I told her not to get dressed until her jobs were done. Suddenly it was the only thing she wanted to do. I went and packed a set of clothes and put them in her backpack as I knew she would never get her chores done and her pajamas were not warm enough for the day. She did eat when I told her to. She eventually made her bed... anyway, she has things to finish up when she gets home and then she will go running with dad tonight. Running works. It clears the mind and gets the blood moving and releases endorphins....