I spent a few hours in a meeting about little guy. I learned a ton. I learned some things I did not want to hear. I feel quite a bit of pressure to say very quickly if we are committed to this child or not. I feel like I am in a bit of a corner, but I can't allow that to dictate our answer or when we answer.
I talked at length with the previous parent. She was honest and sincerely wants the best for him. She's heartbroken and struggling with the whole "I failed him" process. I encouraged her best as I could. She has to think of the safety and well-being of her little children. She told me stuff the social workers were not really saying... Stuff I didn't want to hear but needed to know in order to make an informed decision. There's a lot!
He had his first major tantrum while Steve was watching him and I was at the meeting. He got over it because Steve didn't cater to him and he decided to just do what he was told.
I am feeling very burdened about the whole thing. A little stressed. Just praying for the Lord to make it clear. I don't want to commit without a clear calling.This disrupt stuff can't happen to him again. I have to be 100 percent without a doubt committed to the long-haul.
We go on vacation tomorrow. Our plans were somewhat changed. We planned to stay at bro-in-law's cabin on the G Island, but that plan fell apart and we are headed to R*sario and then sis-in-law's for Canadian Thanksgiving , Lake L*uise, Banff, and on up to CUC to see Steve's mom. We need all this time to just think and talk.
Somehow, this wasn't the way I had envisioned things to go. I expected to know something, read something, pour over files, talk to social workers - then meet the kids and get to know them, and then decide. Not, get the kid, and then find out some information and get some background on him, then be put on the spot to decide. Does that make sense?
Feeling very unsettled about it all!
I will be taking him to the next respite stop this evening. He will stay there 2 weeks.
4 comments:
we found out ALOT of info from the previous placemnt that we were not told in our disclosure meeting. Our kids were also disrupted from an adoption placement but they are thriving with us. I hope God gives you a clear answer, it is hard not to follow your heart, especially when it is a severly damaged child.
He sounds like he may have attachment issues. Does he? My heart naturally goes out to these little ones but it is so very scary to not know for sure how things will turn out. It all depends on how much work you want to take on. You could give this little guy a wonderful future!
I pray for you to know God's will for your family and for him!
Oh goodness, that does sound so stressful, friend. I KNOW God will lead and guide you in every decision you need to make. You will hear the still, small voice showing you the way!
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