He peed his pants at the teacher's house today.
He did it Friday, also.
It used to be he only did it outside at our house.
Next he started being more random about it at home.
Now he's doing it at school....
I don't know what to do.
He's almost 8 years old.
I called the teacher right away when I figured it out and we talked.
On the way home I talked to James about it. AGAIN. He knows the consequence is that he has to take a shower. This makes him so angry. He will stand and scream at me for 15 minutes about it. I asked him if he planned on screaming at me this time. He said no.
I also added a chore for him to do. To finish clearing out the gravel from the trailer for dad. There isn't a lot, but it is an extra, unusual job. And then, I will have him help me do the laundry from our weekend.
Well, when we got home he feigned that he could not open the car door. I told him to work on it. I went in the house to pray because this I knew, was the beginning of his anger over having been caught and having to take a shower. After 10 minutes I went out and suggested that there were in fact 4 other doors on the suburban if he really truly could not open that particular door.... half an hour later he finally came out. I made him go back in and practice opening the door. It kind of sticks, but he knows how to get out when he wants to.
This drives me to tears. I don't know what to do about it anymore than I know what to do about Missy's messy pants.... (though she has gone a few days without doing that.) We've ruled out so many reasons why this is his problem. It keeps coming back to laziness. He says he doesn't feel like going to the bathroom. This is something I have been praying specifically with the kiddo about. At this point I'm the only one who sees the need for change. He doesn't care - except when has to take a shower.
7 comments:
I have no answers but my friend had a 12 yr old who peed n pooped his pants for almost a year when he first lived with them. It's not uncommon in traumatized kids. My oldest son wets his bed... He will stop long enough to get whatever reward I've promised, as soon as he has the reward he starts it again.
It's the worst kind of control battle.
What is it with kids acting like they haven't got a clue how to do something? I have atleast 3 who do that especially in school.
Can you make him stay home from school? Not sure if that's the answer but he seems to like it so much, it was the only thing I could think of.
Oh Girl! I totally know how exhausting this is...urg. I wish I had wise words, instead I'll pray. Hugs...
I am so sorry. I have a 7 year old that still wet his pants every day. We gave him a wrist watch set on an hourly timer and that helped for a while...
now when he gets upset he will through it off his arm. I know that he is "developmentally delayed” and very raw and tender...so
what’s the so? I don’t know except for the LORD’s mercy each and every day for us and for our children....
praying for you.
I am so sorry for all your struggles.
He maybe 8 years old but if I remember correctly when he arrived he was not potty trained at all. So I would expect the potty training process to be very similar to that of a young child who is just learning. They have set backs and this maybe what you are experiencing a set back.
I wonder what would happen if you didn't make a big deal about it. Talk about it at the time ( or when he gets home from school) tell him what is expect from him, going to the bathroom in the toliet, and then not mentioning it again.
Good luck.
Gina
I appreciate the comments. I got the whole spectrum of thought on this in comment and email...
I am certain that keeping him from learning, ie, keeping him from school or choir, etc... is counterproductive since he has a whole range of gaps in his learning not just in his bathroom habits. So, won't be doing that - even though my husband was ready to keep him home from choir, too. Unless he is soaked just as I am leaving, I don't think it's the right thing.
I can't ignore it. It gets WAYYYYY worse.
I guess we'll just keep plugging along. The laundry can be his thing if he has more than anybody else, I guess.
Two thoughts --- although I'm not sure they will work. One is to have him wear "pull ups" and then wait for him to outgrow whatever it is that makes him pee in his pants. The other is to always send a spare set of clothing and have him shower and clean up at the teacher's house. If he gets sent home every time this happens, I think you will be rewarding manipulative behavior. I had a 6th grader who would poo in his pants during class. Can you imagine how upset that made his classmates? When this happened he was always sent to the principal. For awhile the principal would take him home to shower, change clothes, and then he'd bring him back to school. Finally it was decided that the student liked the opportunity to go home and have all the attention of the principal. So, the tactic was changed and the principal then required him to shower at school (PE locker room) and change his clothes. That did not go over well from the student! Hang in there!
Post a Comment