One of THOSE Posts.... {You Know, TMI!}

I'm doing the best I can figure out how, 

but if could get a hold of a magic wand I certainly know what I would use it for. 

Just kidding....

I wish.

This pooping the pants bit has been hard.

I know she has a bowel problem, but she also is not cooperating much in this regard.

We're dealing with some sort of mental block or something.

I've tried a number of different things.

During the summer I reminded her and made her go poop about 5 to 7 times a day.

I know! Crazy. My mom says, 

"I don't know how she can go poop on demand!

I don't know anybody else who can do that!!"

Well, most people go when they need to go and they empty out.

Not this little Miss.

She goes mostly only when I tell her to,

and only stays long enough to produce what she can in 3 seconds flat.

I also sent her when I saw certain signs.

It wasn't usually random.

Picking at her pants was sign number 1, 

but there were several other signs to remain high on alert for.

This fall I decided that although we were not messing the pants often,

it was not solving the mental block issues,

or teaching her to be responsible for herself,

or helping her to experience the great feeling of having gone fully and emptying out,

so I changed tactics.

In the morning after her water and all that, 

I won't let her off the throne until I have decided she has done the job.

Easier said than done.

Like yesterday, 

She begged and pleaded and whined and cajoled Steve to let her off...

she knew better than to do that to me.

I went in there and declared that she had not done her job well enough and if she just couldn't there was always miralax to resort to...

Oooooh! The hated miralax. No thank you!!

Two minutes later she had done the job and Steve and I were congratulating each other for having stuck it out. Mind you, she had already pooped her pants, so it was a real dicey situation where you have to guess at what is an appropriate expectation....
Believe me, she exceeded my expectation,
but DON"T tell her that!!!

I don't want to be unreasonable.

I also don't want her to get mad and push her bowels out as she has done a few times.

It's so HARD to be the judge!!

She still pooped her pants last night.
Yes, we get a lot of fiber since we are still pretty much eating straight out of the garden plus some beans, so it isn't abnormal to need to go twice in a day,
but I don't want to ask her to go at night and then expect a full job in the morning.
I'm trying so hard to be reasonable in this unreasonable situation!!!

And like this morning,

She sat and sat and sat and did a little and declared she just couldn't, etc...

Finally I let her off the toilet but not off the hook.

I sent her down to the barn on the run three times in the pouring rain.

I thought maybe she needed to move around a bit,

and maybe relax 

or something.

And I put her back on.

She teased and tried to get off,

but I would not let her

and suddenly she did the job.

Was it really the exercise, or was it she finally saw that I wouldn't be pushed and she was tired of sitting there?

That's the way it is.

CONSTANTLY second guessing my expectations and her motives.

CONSTANTLY being put in the position of judging the impossible.

If we were just working with a physical condition it would not be half as frustrating

but no, this is very much a mental issue as well.

Last night when she pooped in her pants while standing watching us work on the porch,

Steve and I just looked at each other and shook our heads.

WHY?

What does this do for her?

It really is hard to wrap the brain around this.

She has at times been good about going on her own - but usually with a threat hanging over her head.

I seem to have no other alternative but to keep plodding along,

keep trying,

keep guessing,

keep making judgements,

and keep praying that some day this will all click in her head.