An Example and Update

He's wailing in time out.

Here's the story.

We did three quarters of his little lesson correctly. He gets the concept.  I begin to feel he's starting to control our lesson - me actually,  little by little. Rather than answer the questions directly, he turns the questions around. He wants me to answer them but I am not the student.

I pull back just a hair.

I get a little silly to try and redirect the focus. I feed him grapes as we talk about the exercise. I try to keep it light.

He won't budge. He lifts his pencil,  he states the problem and the answer with a question mark on the end of his sentence.

I don't bite. I tell him to mark it the way he thinks it should be.

He restates the question.

I reinforce that he should just mark it as he thinks is right. The steam is seeping out of his ears just a little.

I feed him another grape. I laughingly tell him that he's the student, I'm the teacher. I already did my school work once upon a time. I ask him if he knows the answer.

He says that he does.

I tell him to mark it.

The steam is beginning to billow.

I ask him point blank if he is trying to get me to do his school work.

He agrees that this is so.

I remind him that this is simple and he knows the answer. With two swift movements he could be done and he could have lunch early.

(This goes on for 20 minutes at least...)

He digs in his heels.

I walk away. I tell him to mark it or choose time out as I leave his side.

He chooses time-out. And cries like I'm killing him. I take him by the shoulders and make him look me in the eye. I ask, "what were you trying to do?"

Get YOU to tell me the answer.

You wanted me to do your work and obey you?

YES.

Who's the mom?

you

Who's the student?

me

I don't do your school work. You are mixed up in your head about that. Take time out to think about who is to obey who.

He's quiet in time out now. But his twin is screaming her head off trying to get me to obey her over her issue.

It's a circus.

She's going into a full blown rage complete with beating the walls.

I already did my crying this morning. I'm not mad and my blood pressure is fine. It's rather random when it comes to that..... they are causing their own trials and I refuse to participate.

***

Update:

So, a half an hour later she is till screaming her head off.

I go and talk to James. I ask him what he thinks of what she is doing. I point out that she is trying to force me to do what she wants. I ask him if he knows someone else who is doing that. He gets the connection. He realizes it is stupid. I tell him I'll take his place on the bench if he'll go do his page.

He gladly leaves me there.

Goes into the room where his book is and promptly throws Christina's flute on the floor in a show of anger.

I again trade places with him.

This time I'm shaking.

she is still screaming