Just Make the Bed Already!!

lol.

Today marks 19 months.

It's been 19 months since the kiddos came to live with us and began to merge into our family.

Every single day for all those months I have asked them to make their bed when they got up in the morning.

Aren't I just the meanest mom?

Every day for 19 months the requirement to make the bed has been the bone of contention between Missy and me.  I have tried everything short of making it for her to ease the situation. It is her chosen post of control since day one. It's an easy enough bed to make. It takes her all of a minute and half when she does finally concede, and she can make it look beautiful.

Her thing is she just doesn't want to do anything in the morning.

Look, you can't get more consistent than every day for 19 months! Somewhere in my life I was taught that if you were perfectly consistent as a parent children would eventually accept your terms and learn.

Maybe it isn't so.

Case in point.... Missy and the Big Bad Bed.

So, this morning I called to Missy to make her bed quickly because we had to get going to be in time for church. She answered as though she was willing.

Fifteen minutes later I called down the stairs again.

"Missy, is your bed being made yet?"

"NO".

"Okay, well, I need you to make it now, because you really don't want to go to church in your pajamas like we talked about yesterday. We are going to be on time regardless of the things you do, or don't do today."

"Yes, Mom! I will obey!!"

I secretly roll my eyes knowing this translates to nothing more than, "I hear you and I might consider your request."

Twenty minutes later, "Missy, come here!"

No answer.

"Missy, I called you. Please come."

I hear a big sister remonstrate..."She called you, you need to go NOW!"

She shows up all cheery.

"Hi, is your bed made?"

The child takes off like a bullet  towards her room.

"HEY! No! get back here. I am talking to you and I expect an answer. Is your bed made?"

"No."

"What have you been doing this whole time?"

"Sitting."

"Really?"

Slight nod.

"Okay. Sit over there on the couch since you want to sit, that way I'll be able to see you."

"NOOOOOO!" Whine, whine, fuss...  "I want to obey!!!!!" cry, fuss, pout, kick, flail...

"Sorry, kiddo. You wanted to sit, so you are sitting in time out. When your attitude changes I will allow you to get up to make the bed. Actually, that bed isn't yours. I guess I never told you it belongs to Isabelle and she wants it back, so I guess since you don't want to take care of it, I'll let her know that it's time she got it back."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

(Big, white, pretty cast iron bed stead and comfortable mattress does belong to Isabelle, and she would like it back when her new room is built.) 

Eventually she decides to stop fussing and put on an acceptable face. She made the bed in less than two minutes. I timed her. She then slowly meandered off to feed the cat and get some breakfast. And suddenly it was time to leave. Steve was in the car. James was in the car. And little Miss do-every-thing-in-my-own-time was still in her pajamas. We'll spare you the screaming as she was ushered out the front door. It wasn't as bad as it could have been, but she was furious with me.

Personally, I had no feelings of regret that I was taking my child to church in flowered pjs. Paired with her pretty blue coat and blue shoes, she was cute enough. I hoped against hope she might take it to heart.

As we approached the church door she crossed her arms in a  defensive manner. I laughed, stood in front of her and crossed my arms mimicking her posture. She chuckled in recognition, dropped her arms and drew near the door. Jon and Nick were greeting, and her shame overwhelmed her and she again crossed her arms in self-defense - her shoulders high around her ears. They cajoled her into shaking their hands, but as her back turned I did a split-second mimic crossing my arms in a closed stance. The guys caught the drift and we enjoyed a chuckle.

Missy was so ashamed, but Joyanna was not the least put off by her self-protective behavior and greeted her warmly with a hug and sat close to her and shared her book. The mortification dimmed as her little friend never batted an eye, totally accepting her, jammies and all.

But that wasn't the end... as it turnes out Christina was sharing her Africa pictures and testimony at another church and after Sabbath school we moved on to Abundant Life. Yeah, so if going to one church in pj's wasn't enough, she had to endure two. The kids at Abundant Life  ignored her completely even though she knows them.

Truth be told, not one person, old or young, in either church commented on her "fabulous" outfit, though I saw a twinkle or two in a few knowing eyes.

We stayed for potluck  then helped to make a hundred sandwhiches for the homeless, came home for a little break where Missy had a chance to change, then headed back to our church to help the Spanish congregation with an outreach project. The girls had special music at an evangelistic meeting in town tonight and they are bringing home a carload of girls to spend the night so that they have time to practice before singing at Apple Days first thing in the morning. What sort of day was yours?

Did I tell you we are starting an English Language school in our church? I might be teaching Monday nights. We have 20 students already.