Friday, July 1, 2016

HARD

Missy has been hard, hard, hard.

It's nothing like we have ever dealt with before. More sophisticated... more driven, unending and unyielding.

Food hoarding. To the point of stealing money to get food from a vending machine. The money was James, but it all came out when she was found searching my room for money. We have to be more careful about using the lock on my bedroom door, the pantry, the freezers, using the alarm on her door, etc... We are the kind to leave egg money in jars on the window sill... little stuff, 3 dollars here and there.  There's food everywhere on the fruit trees and in the garden. If she were hungry she would go for something good, I would think, but no, she eats frozen things that have no appeal. But she also eats all the treats up.

Hyper sexualization. Inappropriate attention seeking from men and older boys. Cannot keep her hands to herself.

Distorted Speech. She has gotten very hard for me to understand. Her cleft issues has made it hard for her to speak absolutely clearly, but for some reason I can't understand her well right now.

Irritable. But that's not new. It's just a different brand. She has taken to throwing things.

This driven sort of behavior is strange. Like we can work with her and she will apologize and then 5 minutes later do the same thing over again. It's like watching a 1 year old. You have to know where she is every second. She's become dangerous to herself. I can't let her go swimming at the pool with the other kids unless I'm there. I can't let her go places and she insists that she is as capable as everyone else, but she's downright scary.

So, it has been suggested we are dealing with the mental illness more than the DD at this point. Calling Children's Hospital for help. I think that the sleep Clinic's doc was concerned enough last month when we saw her that she will get us a referral.  She actually had Missy step out of the room so we could talk. She could see we are struggling to do this...

We had an enjoyable three days camping while she stayed with my mom at our house. Mom said she was okay one on one part of the time, but got out of hand by the end. When we took the airport trip and she thought she was going, but had to stay home the tantrum was awful. She had my mom crying and everyone else. My mom was like, "call the psychiatric ward!!" Sigh.... in the process Missy broke the door jam.


BUT James continues to be even keel and happy.






16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Puberty + onset of mental illness?

Amanda Towne said...

(((Angela))) Praying for a supernatural measure of grace & patience for you & Steve.

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Kat said...

Praying...wishing I had wisdom, but I do have prayers to the one who does. Hugs...

ErinL said...

If I can offer nothing else I can say that I truly understand. It does sound like you are at the point of needing something intensive and hopefully outpatient so you can all breathe. I'm glad you are taking steps toward that.

Emily said...

Definitely sounds like you're dealing with mental illness here. I'm glad you are seeking help. Praying you will be able to get some answers, and that they will be able to get you in quickly.

Annie said...

You said "It's like watching a 1 year old." That's probably exactly what she is emotionally and mentally, a one year old dwarf - stuck at the point of her unresolved damage. "The better part of the nature of persons of this class was perverted and dwarfed in childhood; and unless rays of divine light can melt away their coldness and hardhearted selfishness, the happiness of such is buried forever." {AH 107.4). My heart goes out to you ... you must be at your wits end.

Jo's Corner said...

I read your blog, but this is my 1st comment. Is M still the Proz*c? I know that it can work well with some people, but there are a few things that come to mind about the side effects, particularly in young teens. It does increase appetite, so she's likely feeling hungry more than normal. Is it possible to keep some healthy snacks out to help with the increased hunger AND the stealing food? If it is readily available and she knows that she can eat it freely, that can help with the food issues that seem to be a part of kiddo's who are adopted and have RAD.
The other thought I have is mentioned in an earlier Comment. Is she nearing puberty? Close to menstruation? The hormones can really push her into more destructive behaviors. I would look into the Children's Psych department, as you mentioned in your post. You are so correct about a regular Pediatrician/Family doctor not being really knowledgeable about psych meds. Prozac is documented to cause suicidal behaviors in teens and young adults. And, last of all, if you can keep her out of a Psychiatric Unit, then do it! As a former RN, I watched kids come in who were pretty innocent (socially) who learned very destructive behaviors from other patients. And, once they get into that system, it becomes a part of life. They WANT to be in-patient. And, they Become every diagnosis they are given. (Eating Disorders, Cutting/Self Injury that they see other fellow patients do.)
Know that every word I write, is coming from a Christian, Jesus-Loving heart. I will be praying for the hearts of all of your family. If you ever need to chat, you can leave a response to my comment and I'll get my contact information to you. Much Love in Him. - Jo

Anonymous said...

It sounds like mental illness, but I would also consider hormones. I was diagnosed as Bipolar Type 2 with psychosis. I carried that diagnosis until my 40's, when I had a hysterectomy due to possible uterine cancer. I was unable to take hormone replacement due to it raising my blood pressure and causing debilitating migraines. After menopause, I am a completely different person. I had no idea this level of stability was possible! I am on a mild anti depressant through the winter for seasonal depression but that's it.

acceptance with joy said...

Jo,

Thank you for your input. Yes she is still on fluoxetine.... a very, very mild dose. She did not do well on a larger dose. Truth is she isn't doing well on this dose, either. I'm thinking we need to wean her off, but I have to call the doc first. It seemed to help at first. Stopped the unending crying and utter misery but she is now in a completely different category of misery. It's not better.

So yes, the hormones are raging. Yes she is developing breasts and is hairy and we are struggling with controlling body odor. Its more than the average child. Every time she is the least excited- around kids, etc... the body odor is over powering. But i f she is truly more hungry wouldn't she want to eat meals with us?? Breakfast became such a power struggle I let it go. If she didn't come when we were eating and before a certain time the restaurant closed. I hate getting the kitchen all cleaned up and dishes washed and then she shows up and wants a full meal... It's either close enough to lunch or I make her a shake. BUT here's the thing, yesterday at 10:30 am she was still in her pajamas and still hadn't eaten breakfast and never brushed her hair or made her bed all day. BUT I found her eating out of the garbage bin outside. I got pictures to prove it. We have a lovely huge apricot tree in the yard full of fresh ripe sweet apricots, so WHY THE GARBAGE CAN???? There's cucumbers and cherry tomatoes and various fruit trees everywhere, why the garbage can? Yesterday she picked a handful of blackberries and brought them to the kitchen, I was like, why don't you eat them instead of the garbage?? Why last week did she walk past the bin of cherries sitting on the porch and go to the freezer in the garage and eat frozen chunks of burrito wraps? When I found her eating out of the garbage can I went in and made her protein shake.... when I handed it to her she said, "I'm not hungry right now!" I told her to drink it anyway and she did, but nothing makes sense. Somebody please tell me this is just a nightmare. We are pretty careful about leaving food around but the orchard and garden and produce is not being withheld. At meals I serve her plates the size my husband eats.

I can see her doing as you say and wanting to be inpatient and cutting and all that. Her arms are all bandaged as it is right now. Like totally wrapped in Coban She makes herself bleed every day all day from small wounds she makes herself. She loves the attention at Children's Hosp for all her cranial facial needs. Loves going to the dentist and orthodontist, and the sleep clinic, loves being the special one.

my email address is safords @ hotmail. com

Appreciate your concern

acceptance with joy said...

Appreciate all the comments and prayers.

acceptance with joy said...

Rachel, Gateway Freedom Ranch is 4,200.00 a month plus!! We still have kids in college...

Anonymous said...

So... I'm a (female) young adult diagnosed with a mood disorder, and anxiety, among other things. I take a mood stabilizer, and have an antianxiety med on hand for emergencies. Antianxiety meds (at least the one I'm on) are actually pretty commonly used to help balance moods in the short term, while you wait for the mood stabilizer to kick in.

Here are my thoughts:

-Like several other people mentioned - hormones. There are phases in my cycle where, if I'm not consistent and my medication is not at a therapeutic dose, I will predictably either become some level or another of manic or extremely depressed. Like, suicidal depressed, in an instant.

-Does she have unsupervised (and by supervised, I would mean a human hovering over her shoulder reading every single thing she reads) access to the internet? Specifically, to google, and webmd/kidshealth/teenshealth, youtube and similar websites. Keep her away from them. I've had to fight attention-getting behaviors in myself, and these are great places to get ideas. She doesn't need any more ideas than she naturally comes up with.

-Self harm: do everything you can to prevent and stop it, because it gets addicting.

I think that's all I can think of for now.

Ruth Ann said...

Praying for you!!
sounds like puberty really is messing with her mental abilities. PRaying for you during this difficult time!

Laurel said...

Let me know if you want information about the care facility that our dear daughter has lived at for 4 years. All of the children living there are adopted children. It is a Christian Non-Profit, so not nearly as costly as other facilities. It has been a very good place for our daughter, who was diagnosed with RAD and with Major Depressive Disorder.

Laurel said...

Let me know if you want information about the care facility that our dear daughter has lived at for 4 years. All of the children living there are adopted children. It is a Christian Non-Profit, so not nearly as costly as other facilities. It has been a very good place for our daughter, who was diagnosed with RAD and with Major Depressive Disorder.