We are in a very good streak with James. He's happy, content, taking pride in his work and finding pleasure in growing muscles. The garden bins are almost all full and James has pushed full wheelbarrow loads of dirt with determination for hours on end. He will show you his biceps if you have time. :-) He sprained his ankle the other day. We weren't sure how sore it really was but we gave him the benefit of the doubt until he forgot and stomped his foot at his dad a few times and jumped up and down in displeasure at a request. The sympathy pot instantly dried up. lol He most certainly has struggled with moods over the winter. Maybe even depression, but that's not the case right now.
Missy has tried my patience to the core. I have danced on eggshells all around that child for two weeks solid. Today was showdown time. She knows what she needs to do but won't do it. If I speak to her about it she does the opposite. If I put it on paper she ignores it. If I just draw the lines with consequences she stands on the line and taunts me for hours. For instance; in the morning she will stand in her pj's, hair eskew, bed unmade, animals crying for food in front of me practically begging for me to point out that she is not doing the obvious. If I do say something I've taken the bate for her to make a scene, argue, or go in a complete opposite direction than what she's told. BUT she has the patience to stand stratigically in my view and attempting small talk for what feels like hours. We totally recognize it is about a power struggle and so we make every effort not to give her her the pleasure of ruffling our feathers. BLAH!! We coach each other quietly and we walk away when it gets impossible.... Today though, when I saw that her every waking thought was bound up in this incredble effort to undermine my authority as mom of this house I gave her the consequence I knew would mean the most. I told her tomorrow I would not be taking her on the outing I had planned to the water pad park with the little guys. Nothing means more to her than water and friends. The disrepectful words flowed easy. "You are so RUDE!" she said. lol. I put her in her room and told her what I just told you. That very clearly she is in a power struggle but that this IS MY HOUSE and I AM the MOM and she would be spending time in her room figuring out that this was true. All the screaming, beating on the door, and making the alarm go off would not change my stance. If she chose to do those things I would not stop her, but she would probably have to buy a new door, I would probably leave the house and she would be in there longer. She stopped screaming. She keeps calling me every 5 minutes. I am not answering yet as she is trying to pull me into her manipulations. I choose when to give her a bathroom break, I bring her water and food and no one else is interacting with her until she softens the insane domination game. I left her some things to do to show me that she's willing to work with me. Her whole focus has shifted to GETTING OUT OF THIS ROOM! So, I expect it will take time for her to stop trying to force me to let her out and get on with the business of doing what I ask - and no half-hearted slop job will do.
|sassy little photobomber!!|
While we came to the conclusion that for me to both parent and homeschool the kids is not possible, we haven't come up with any good plan at all. I thought I had an idea... but my husband is not okay with it. AND nothing else has turned up that is plausable. That saying, we are going on a little trip to visit ___ ____ School. It is a day school for 6th grade up and a boarding school for academy. We don't live close enough for us to use it as a day school.... so I don't think anything will come of the visit immediately, but I have had this school in mind for our future for awhile. In fact, the school comes here and does a concert in our church every spring and we often host half the group. Some of the kids are special needs like ours and the staff are amazing and incredible with the kids. I feel like it is important to build a relationship with the school and to look for ways to support them as much as possible because someday I believe they will be working with my kids. But for now, there's still NO plan.
|at Hidden Lake. Cooling off from our sudden SUMMER!!|