Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Blessings Chart

There's a couple of new things we are trying with the twins.  Number one is that we have them on the Feingold diet. It's not an easy diet to follow, but it was time to try it. We generally eat very well so it's hard to think a diet might help my kids out any but here goes. The diet removes artificial colorings, dyes, artificial flavors, chemicals and salylcilates from the diet completely. That means in phase one we also remove the fruit and vegetables that have naturally occurring salylcilates such as apples, grapes, berries, cucumbers, etc. it's not all the fruit and veggies. They can have pears and broccoli­čśÄ. Phase one last 6-8 weeks and then you begin adding in the fruit and veggies one by one and the other foods slowly over some months to see if there is any kind of reaction. Sometimes kids will have an immediate reaction of melt down with tears or tantrums or they get hyper or other behaviors show up. Sometimes there is a delayed reaction.

We've been going almost a week now with a big mess up on the weekend. So far I can only sense that Missy is calmer. She is not hovering in the red zone of her behavior chart as we have been experiencing. She is still Missy but it's easier to redirect her and she's not screaming or flying off the handle. While we were gone for the weekend she was very willful, pushing for total freedom from parental restraint. She has learned somewhat to be more subtle so the scene is not always obvious to by standees, but if looks could kill.... The harder she pushes against restraint the tighter we draw her close to us. After awhile I get fatigued.

I see no difference in James at all. He's fine when he's fine. He's weepy when asked to do something. He's antagonistic towards his twin and will not be redirected.

And so the new Blessings Chart:.  
Our introduction of the chart went over well with Missy. She had a broad smile and later that evening when reminded that we are here to be a blessing instead of a curse she got it and acted accordingly. James did not accept the chart or its meaning at all. He cried when referred to it to bring out a positive trait and eventually shut down completely and had to be sent straight to bed as it was evening and there was no use working with him. A sense of despair threatens to discourage me over this kid. He's smart enough. He's capable. He could easily see that he has every opportunity to have blessings bestowed rather than blessings removed and he quite clearly makes the choice to give in to all the wrong choices without so much as a slight nod to the possibility of blessings bestowed.  He just did not even entertain the possibility of being a blessing. He doesn't want to be bothered, period. He wants things to be without thought or consequence. Tomorrow is another day. I hope that he thinks it over and changes his mind and does not reject it right off the bat again tomorrow.   I'm trying to put everything in a positive light. 


Thandi said...

This must be so tiring. Hard on the mind... Praying for a breakthrough.

Anonymous said...

I see what your point is and it must be very frustrating. You are trying so hard with these kids and it seems from an outside perspective to be one step forward and two steps back with them. I also see a little from his possible point of view. It's a big responsibility to be a blessing when maybe you don't feel like a blessing deep down inside.
He seems to respond well to running and being outdoors and less to the touchy feely stuff.
Of course, I don't know him or you so please do not take this comment as criticism in any way.
I like that you keep trying new things.