I miss blogging, but I've really struggled with it at the same time. Mostly because I've really struggled with everything the last 9 months or more. I've been worn to an absolute frazzle. I have had no strength or energy or will and my patience is paper thin. It's not good to have paper thin patience when your children require an inordinate and incalculable amount of patience just to get through the morning to 7:30 am.... I've been exhausted to the core. . .
Sleep had been a problem here for several months. I was averaging 4 to 6 hours of sleep and laying in bed frustrated and anxiety riddled for the rest of the night. Nothing was helping very much. Recently, I had a B12 and B complex shot and lo and behold I have slept fine every night since! I feel like a new person!!!!
I've been working out hard. Exercising hard nearly every day of the week and yet try as I might I could not lose an ounce. Finally I have dropped one pound. WHEW! I don't know whether to cheer or cry.
We're working with a Naturalist doctor to do something about my migraines. Praying to find something that lasts.
On instagram I have learned about a book called the Love Dare and it's about a marriage dare for 40 days. I thought it sounded like a neat idea, but I really needed it to be a Love Dare for parenting.... and so I went and looked and sure enough, there is a book on just that. So, I'm taking the Love Dare on a certain little Missy. To be super honest, sometimes I shut her out because every interaction is hard. She is still so very much about control and manipulation and pushing buttons. She doesn't trust me for a single second and that is harder than you can ever imagine to deal with. But I'm taking the dare and I'm going to post about it... I'll take that as a dare, as well.
Last Wednesday after her swimming lesson I invited the twins to try lap swimming with me. James was freaking out and crying and saying he couldn't do it no matter how much I assured him I would be right beside him taking care of him. He can swim just fine. I saw him doing the breast stroke just minutes before, yet I was not the teacher, so he could not trust me - even though I gave him a kick board to hold. So, he got out and sat on the bench. Missy on the other hand, LOVES the water. And she swam laps with me and another little girl for an hour and half - laughing and happy the whole time. REALLY HAPPY. The only time you see the real happy kid is in the water. It was a time to wish it was always like that for her.....