And the first thing she did this morning was disobey and lie about it.
She's testing me big time. She's pushing the limits hard.
Why?
She enjoyed a happy 19 days in a row and all the privileges that go with that. We had a great time together. Why would she want it any other way?
***
Reality is, while it seemed like she had let go on the control issues and her combativeness during those 19 days, Steve and I noticed that it was really still there. It was just directed differently. She threw a lot of it in her brother's direction and towards food, and maybe she was still trying to be in control of her life by behaving instead of simply trusting? (Hmmm... object lesson of truth for adults? )She has such a long road ahead. I'm afraid you probably can't "Teach" anyone to TRUST. They have to accept it and experience it. It's going to take a miracle of grace for this guarded and addictive little personality.
Life is easier for all of us when she is behaving, even when it's her way to stay on top of things, and I do think the more she practices the acceptable behavior, the better for her in the long run . . . but we're after the heart. There again, I can't change her heart. I can only pray and encourage her to accept Christ's new heart for her.
Yesterday I was telling the children's story at church. I am not a children's story teller. Don't know why they ask me, but anyway, I couldn't come up with a fancy story so I told the children about our ducks. Told them how the ducks keep the duckling close to the pond so that when danger comes they can dive in and be safe from the cat. When the mother quacks loud all the little ducklings dive in very fast. I asked, "Do you think one of the little ducklings ever says, "Ah, mom! I'm tired of swimming. I just want to stay here and rest for awhile. I'll come in a few minutes" ?
All the little heads shook 'NO'
except one.
I'll leave you to guess which child vigorously nodded her head up and down and shouted right out, "YES!"
lol.
Maybe there is one little duckling out there that identifies with her. I don't know.
2 comments:
Oh friend, the Lord is teaching me some very similar things. I am done trying to change my child{s} behavior. It is a matter of the heart and no matter how hard I try, how vigilent I am or "on-top" of it, I will never be able to soften her heart. We have had the roughest five days ever as I have given one of our daughters over to the sin that has always plagued her heart. She is trying to be good on her own, but to NO avail. That she may taste and SEE that God is so good.
Blessings,
S
P.S. I would love to email.
I agree completely with this post. Same things here with Jackson and at times Delaney. I do think that the more they practice appropriate responses the easier it will be and more natural it will be for them to behave. I have almost stopped trying to figure out what is what and the why for things and just accept that I will never figure out how their little minds work. It has relieved so much pressure and stress. It is what it is and only God can change them but I have to live with them during the process so I am celebrating in the good days and praying more and more come no matter what the reason for the good day. :) God is in control. period. Thank goodness it is not up to us. :)
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