An "Aha" Moment

Missy's been pushing buttons and refusing to obey since Friday. I thought it would get better since my sister arrived and the cousins are here.

Wishful thinking.

This morning she woke up a on the cranky side. After laying in my bed with me, I asked her to go get dressed.

She refused.

Battle ensued.

I was trying to talk to her but I was only getting disrespect and sullen looks. Discipline only made her angry.

I was like, "OH, Lord, this is SOOOOO HARD! I don't WANT to do this right now and really I don't know what will make a break through."


The phone rang. I had to answer.

While on the phone, I noticed a bag of clothes I had bought from the Goodwill. In it were two beautiful dresses I had picked up for Missy. As I talked on the phone I pulled the dresses out of the bag and laid them across Missy's lap. She instantly softened, but she did not so much as touch them.

After I got off the phone I asked, "Do you SEE that mommy loves you?"

She smiled and nodded. I pulled her into my lap. We talked for a moment about when she would wear the dresses. One I said would be for when we saw her Bio mother later this week. I tried to get her to talk about it. She only said "Yes" or "No" to my questions. She had no problem with the visit. She's not scared. She remembers past visits. She wasn't giving me any negative clues regarding this, but she was getting mad about my insistence that she talk. Talking is hard. She struggles to communicate, but while I know she's only three in her head, she's seven in years and I figure she has to try sometime.

Finally she was crying again and mad. I said, "You must tell me why you are upset. You must tell me why you are crying."

SILENCE

I waited and

waited.

Suddenly, she turned to me and almost spat the words at me.

"YOU LEAVE ME!"

Aha!!!

She's unsettled because I am leaving for a few days without her.

So, we talked it through. I am leaving today with my sister for ARME Bible Camp. My kids and Julie's kids are staying here with Steve and will meet up with us on Friday. I told her I would be there for the visit with her first mom.We talked how the kids will go to Cindy's house for a few hours until Steve got off of work. I also took liberties to tell her I could not take her to Bible ARME Camp 'cause they can't have screaming kids there and Momma needs a break!! We talked how we would be together for Sabbath and how on Sunday morning we leave for California TOGETHER.

She knew all that, of course, but we had not talked it through from beginning to end. I had not assured her that  it was all going to be okay.

She's all smiles.
She's dressed.
She going about her business.

Goodness. She is so insecure. We'll probably have to go over the schedule a dozen more times before I leave in 4 hours.