Expecting Hard

I keep expecting her to go to pieces and she hasn't.

She got up after a couple of calls from me and went about her day with an unusual sweetness and swiftness. She was 20 minutes early for the bus and trotted down the road with a "Goodbye mom. Have a good day!"

The idea that she was hiding something flit through my head. I rejected it easily, but I had a harder time pushing aside the idea that she might want something. How awful is that? I remarked to all who would hear that she was incredibly good and I didn't even know how to enjoy it.

Today Missy had scripture reading in church. She was nervous. James was suppose to do it with her.... that's another story. She thought she was doing it for the superintendent remarks and was okay with that. Doing it for the 11 o'clock hour when the church was full freaked her out. She whispered her agreement to go through with it if ONLY Christina would stand beside her. And she did.

There are some signs of maturity. There's also sign of pride . . . balancing encouragement and rebuking the arrogance - a total walk on a tight rope.

I am expecting a hard week. James is balking progress hard. His report card shows it. His times tables show it. His music practice shows it. His homework shows it. His speaking up loud enough for others to hear him read shows it. If anyone dare ask him to raise the bar a wee bit he becomes passive aggressive to the nth degree. Music practice has become a fearful struggle for the both of us. Missy is doing hers happily, while he fights the whole process. It's quite hard for a teacher to help a kid who fakes he doesn't know anything. He's back to the beginning of the book he's had for two years... AND so, he's lost the use of his bicycle for a week or so, but he also lost his lessons with the teacher until he can show me he can play a good part of his book and point to any note and tell me what it is. I am a piano teacher, too. I don't think he knew that. He's about to find out I'm not fooled as easily. It's going to be rough. I expect it to be hard for both of us. If it were just piano I would give it up, but it isn't about piano. It's totally about character and it affects every area of his life.  He's losing to inclination. I'd like to teach him about victory over distorted thinking though I am asking a near impossible thing. We need to be armored up and supported by the Words of God. He needs to know where the power comes from. He needs a miracle or two in his own head to show him it's possible. God's grace is sufficient. His strength is made perfect in our weakness...

Pray for us. We're headed for a mini time of trouble. :-)

* Update: Practice two since we made the pact went well!! I can hardly believe it. After Sabbath but before supper we got busy. I showed him exactly what was expected of him. He was tempted twice to go down the old road, but pulled through. We are ten songs into the book since we started the review yesterday. We are going to do this! If we can have half the practices with as good an attitude as this I'll be thrilled~

Winter Break Comes to a Conclusion

PUT ME DOWN!

Wednesday we hiked the 10 miles and the twins did great.

Thursday skiing was canceled so Steve took them and Buddy's siblings skating. Steve plays crazy hard when he plays. He's excellent on skates - as Canadian kids growing up on hockey usually are. He didn't know he could rent hockey skates though, and ended up with figure skates. He hooked the little spikes into the ice a few times and fell FLAT on his chest cracking who knows how many ribs. Doesn't stop him any, but he definitely feels it.

Friday we took the twins and Buddy's older siblings skiing. They stay mostly on the bunny hill and they had a two hour lesson so Steve and I were scott free to ski all over the mountain. We skied hard and took some really challenging runs. I ski best following him. If I'm on my own I'm uncertain and can't find my way so easily. We took the kids on the green run and Missy is doing awesome! Greg, too. James would tell you he is an absolute stunt man on the mountain, but truth is he's FREAKING out most of the time and stiff as a board and barely crawling along.  When he finally gets to the bottom he tells everyone how wonderful he is and how he's super fast. Steve was trying to help him understand that boasting like that is not speaking truth and that boasting isn't nice to listen to, that it is better to just keep the mouth shut. It makes no impression whatsoever.

The twins were doing great as far as cooperation and behavior all those days. Sabbath they woke up completely the opposite. I was at Buddy's house down the road staying with four kids as their mom had gone to a weekend retreat, and Steve was home with our tribe. When I arrived home with the four ready for church I walked into the house and saw how it was. Everyone had this flat expression and were just hanging in there, but the time pressure was making things tense.  I told the girls and Steve to grab the babies and the four still strapped in their seats and go to church and leave me with the twins.

The twins were in separate rooms getting ready or not, depending on their mindset. I waited. I kept them apart and waited for things to change. I didn't have to say much. They knew. Usually we would be at church by 9:15 or so, we three arrived at 11;15. Steve placed chairs just outside the sanctuary where the sliding door opens and had them where they could see and hear, but not be seen or cause a scene. As soon as it was over I took them and the babies home and fed them peanut butter sandwiches while the rest of the gang went to potluck with our prepared food. James pulled himself out of his mood and he was great. Missy gallantly pressed forward in rebellion.  I could not even have her at the table with the other kids. Steve came home and took her hiking in the rain over the mountain the rest of the day.  She came home completely changed and back to her rightful mind. She apologized and promised to help me with household chores the next day.

Sunday was sunny and warm and 60 degrees. All 8 kids played outside all day. They were beat tired at the end of it.  BUT we had no trouble with Missy.

Boys are dangerous!

James said he wanted someone to make an apple pie. I said if he wanted a pie he'd have to make it. I was not up to it. Good thing I had a ready-made pie crust for him....  He was proud of it.

Pieter is angry. Deep down bottled up anger is showing up in artwork. You know the kind you'd rather not see.... poop smearing. Sigh. Bathroom and bedroom walls. There's been a ton of drama regarding his family. His mother was MIA at the last visit which absolutely crushed this kid. Steve and I were kneeling around his bed as we tucked him in and I brought up the visit... No kid should have to wonder why his mom didn't care to see him. He was devastated. People went in search of her and her family gave us a  story didn't match the facts. She was to have unsupervised visits starting today and she just called me. She wonders why her visit was totally canceled today.  She gave me a different story as to where she was and why she missed the visit. I told her what it did to her boy. I spared her nothing and I don't know if that's good or not. I also told her that I didn't know why the visit was canceled... but that her missed visit could hurt her case. She was full of excuses but I could hear the fear in her voice. I'm sorry for her. I really am, but she has to stop and put her kids first. BUT that's me talking- the one who doesn't know what it is to be trapped in addiction.  Children's Services will be scheduling some sort of therapy or counseling for Pieter. Truth is  -he's gonna be angry until his mom quits hurting him, or he finds stability elsewhere.

Pieter has a giant bruise on his leg. We don't know where he got it. We only knew that it grew bigger by the day. There was talk of blo*d clotting* issues. I'm asking for a medical report. I need to understand what is going on. I might have figured out that he is getting bruised with his trike. It tips and the handle bars twists into his leg. The bruising is clearing up. There was a random email from the dad's lawyer asking for a furlough from jail* so he could attend the appointment for him regarding the bruise. I don't know what appointment that is. Neither does the social worker and so he decided to ignore the plea for a furlough.  I thought that maybe the appointment was today during the visit since mom was going to have unsupervised visit, but she didn't know about the appointment either and there's no visit...

Some of the kids Saturday night....

Daylight savings time! Ack.  Whose idea was it anyway??!

found these two almost two year olds  in my closet wearing our ski helmets...

In two weeks the kids will be off school for spring break. Don't ask. It makes no sense at all.