I have felt like a blind man trying to maneuver a maze as I have searched for and researched adoption agencies. I am thankful for the internet and all the resources at my finger tips, but I am definitely growing tired of the all the dead ends. The list of incompatibilities is daunting. Some can’t work with us because we are not US citizens. Some cannot help us because we are just outside of their district. Some just plain aren’t interested enough to answer their emails or to send us information. Some only do International adoption. A lot of them have their required classes on Saturday and are not able or not willing to make any kind of change or exception. Every program is different and every program requires different things from us and most interestingly the costs range varies incredibly. One by one I have tackled each agency and read every word of information I could get on them, and I have asked for more and laid out just who we are and our status in the
I really got excited about one and almost sent in the application money. Communication was happening; answers were clear; people were helpful; their costs were reasonable and I felt pretty safe and then we hit a snag. I was disappointed but not discouraged. I immediately turned my focus to other programs I had bookmarked in my head and emailed them all. I kind of forgot who I emailed and who I hadn’t by this time, so to be on the safe side I emailed everyone on the list that I had not heard definite word back from. The responses were really not what I was looking for. One suggested I call another agency, etc…. I still had high hopes for Bethany Christian Services but for some reason they had never answered any of my emails and I was getting fearful that I would annoy someone if I emailed them too many times. I finally received a packet from them in the mail and for the first time, as I read the information, I became very discouraged with the whole thing. I went to bed wondering if this really was just my idea after all and not prompted by God.
The next morning I gave the whole thing to the Lord again and told Him that I wasn’t looking to do something that was outside of His plan for us. To adopt special needs children I would need His blessing and if He didn’t open the way for us then that was okay for me. Perhaps He has other plans for us of which I know nothing. I decided to stay away from researching anymore agencies for awhile. I would just let it be and trust that God has a road mapped out for us and I would just relax and walk it and try not to question why I had been led the way I had thus far.
I opened my Bible as I needed some words of peace and I found myself reading a few verses in Isaiah 54. Now, I realize that chapter is primarily referring to God’s people and His church and presenting prophecies and promises in regard to that, but at the moment the verses seemed to be speaking directly to me. I felt like God was right beside me telling me not to give up hope but to look forward to "enlarging my tent " to accommodate some of His little ones. A few minutes later I checked the email and found another agency that I did not recognize had emailed me. I quickly scanned the information and saw evidence that this was really worth looking into. I closed the email and thanked the Lord. I felt no need to investigate further at the moment but only to savor the hope and the comfort the Lord had given.
I will look into it later, but for now I am enjoying the peace of resting in God’s will and knowing He will reveal His will by and by.
Sing, O barren, thou that didst not bear; break forth into singing… thou that didst not travail with child: for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the LORD.
Enlarge the place of thy tent, and let them stretch forth the curtains of thine habitations: spare not, lengthen thy cords, and strengthen thy stakes;
For thou shalt break forth on the right hand and on the left; and thy seed shall inherit the Gentiles, and make the desolate cities to be inhabited.
For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is His name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall He be called….
All thy children shall be taught of the LORD;
and great shall be the peace of thy children.
Isaiah 54:1-5, 13